


In The Dark

by Imzadi_Deanna, thunderbottle



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Halloween, Hurt!Jim, It’s dark fic guys it’s gonna get dark, M/M, Psychological Horror, Rating is for horror content, Tarsus IV, chapters will come with additional warnings to avoid spoilers, multiple character deaths, t’hy’la, ya’ll know the Richard laymon book with the same title . . . Yeah!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27262447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imzadi_Deanna/pseuds/Imzadi_Deanna, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderbottle/pseuds/thunderbottle
Summary: After a disastrous mission that resulted in the death of Jim’s friend, Thomas Leighton, The crew is forced to return to Earth, an extended shore leave while the Enterprise undergoes a refit.Jim’s handling this better than expected, in fact he’s thriving. Spending his days helping out as a lecturer at the academy, as well as working shifts in the library. Being able to go home to his two favourite people. However, things never remain idyllic for long and Jim is all too aware that there is a price to pay for happiness.So when notes start appearing addressed to him, asking him to ‘play a game’ with them. Well. He’s never been one to walk away from a mystery. The credits are nice too. And if things begin to escalate well . . . It’s just all fun and games. Right?
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27
Collections: Star Trek Halloween Horror Bang 2020





	1. With All Good Things

**Author's Note:**

> This labour of love would not have been possible without the work of my lovely beta Ray and my artist Ttangentt (Who you can find on tumblr!)

Jim noticed the letter as soon as he approached the desk. Seemingly innocuous amongst the pile of PADDs and returned Holovids, except for the fact that his name was written in fancy swirls on the faded, yellowing paper. 

He couldn’t have been gone for more than a minute, having moved to open the door for the elderly Miss Campbell, who had stuck around much longer than necessary to make sure he knew what he was doing with her library. 

Whoever had placed it there couldn’t have gone far. He looked around the wide room, for the late hour there were still plenty of people. The library never really closed its doors to the cadets, allowing them to remain in the main area even after the people that worked there had closed up the upper stacks and left for the night. 

The only thing left would be to read the note. He had no proof it was anything bad. For all he knew it could be for a completely different Jim. Most people referred to him nowadays as Captain Kirk. A few even incorrectly assumed his title was now Admiral since his ship had been docked for several months.

He moved the letter between his fingers, frowning as he felt the thick paper raised in the middle, a rectangular shape. 

He opened it, eyes widening at the 50 credit chip that was taped in the middle section, a sickly sweet smell, similar to the perfume half the cadets seemed to drench themselves in these days, felt like it was cloying up his throat. He winced, coughing to clear his throat as he slipped the tape off and grabbed the credit chip. A tingling sensation zinging through his fingertips, like the note was somehow electrified.

He turned the credit chip over in his hand, what an odd thing to give a starship Captain. It wasn’t as if he was short on credits. Or that he needed the unmarked currency. 

He walked to the closest cadet. A young woman with strikingly blonde hair. “Cadet. Did you happen to see who left this on the desk?” He waved the letter in his hands. 

She looked up at him, eyes so wide they seemed to take up half her face. “Who me? No, sir. I did not.” She shook her head viciously, hair slipping out of its pinned style slightly with the force, her eyes staying locked on his. 

If Jim wasn’t used to this reaction it would have been unsettling; the way she stared at him without blinking. Her high pitched voice almost shrill to his ears. “Did you notice anyone hanging around the circulation desk?” He tried instead.

She shook her head again, hard enough to loosen a few more of the dozens of pins holding her elaborate hairstyle in place. “No. Not a one.” 

“Ok.” This was a waste of time. “Thanks anyway, Cadet.” He walked back to the desk, sitting down heavily in his chair. Re-reading the note still in his hands. 

  
  
[Image Description]

_Jim_

_Come play with me. For further instructions remember:_

_A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other._

_Best wishes,_

_Governess of Games_

_[End description]_

  
  
  
  


Jim would recognise those words backwards and in Klingon. 

Licking his lips he swirled his fingers on the screen beside him, setting up the announcements to let the students know that the upper stacks and the circulation desk were shutting down for the night. 

Leonard often liked to joke that if Jim somehow lost all his memories, he’d still be able to read Tale of Two Cities word for word perfect before he could even tell you his name. Even Spock agreed, which Jim thought must mean that he was spending much too much time with them, ever since their accidental bonding two years ago.

They had a point though, Jim knew that book better than he knew anything else. Which is why he recognised the quote immediately. It was too distinct to be anything else, the phrasing too niche to be in reference to anything else. And Jim knew for a fact that they kept a paperback replica of the Dickens classic right in the upper stacks of the library he just so happened to be working in. How convenient. 

The next step, as he had been instructed and reminded of several times during his orientation to library work, was to check the upper stack and _‘shoo on any lollygaggers’_ -Miss Campbell’s words, not his. The old woman could give Leonard a run for his money with her excessive use of colloquialisms. 

The task would take him within arms reach of the book. A quick check on the screen told him it hadn’t been checked out in a few months, not unusual. What was odd, and had Jim’s heart stuttering in his chest was who had borrowed it last.

  
  


_Thomas Leighton_.

  
  


The name remained there in it’s black lettering no matter how many times he blinked, mocking him. It couldn’t be right. He knew it wasn’t right. The day the book was checked out was the same day that Jim had held Tommy in his arms as he—

Jim breathed in sharply through his nose, his shoulder raising and chest expanding with the force before it shot back out of him like he’d been punched, at that moment the announcement rang out through the library for the final time, everyone’s last warning, and a signal for Jim to get on with his work

He didn’t let his eyes go back to the screen, unable to read the name of his dead friend once more.

He trembled slightly as he walked to the staircase, an authoritative smile on his face, however, as he nodded his head at the few who greeted him as he passed, either settling down at a table or making their way to the exit now that only the main area was open to students and faculty. 

He willed himself to calm down as he made his way through the uppers, glancing into the rows of shelves and keeping an ear out for any noise. The book would be closer to the front, three rows from where he had entered, but he promised himself that he wouldn’t wander over until he’d checked everywhere else. Not giving whoever was messing with him the satisfaction of his embarrassment when he inevitably checked and there was nothing there. He would make it look like he’d just happened to wander and decide to pluck it off the shelf for a quick little read.

He paused at the sound of footsteps, thoughts breaking off abruptly as he turned around, half expecting to see someone walking behind him with how close they had been. He called out, wandering back through the row to look around. The problem with the uppers is that it looked like they had tried to condense two floors of books into a single level, making the rows a tight squeeze to pass someone, single use desks cluttering seemingly random spots- depending on where they would fit. It also made spotting anyone difficult.

There was no reply, odd, but easily explained by a student slipping out after noticing they’d stretched their time too long. He’d done that too at the academy, pushed his studying hours until the librarian had threatened Jim with security if he didn’t pack his shit and leave the upper level. 

He was looking forward to pulling that same card on a cadet, seeing which of them would blink first. Had to get his kicks somewhere, he supposed. 

There was no need for his heart to be beating as hard as it was, his body tense as if it was waiting for more running footsteps to sound out, he fought the nagging urge to look over his shoulder every few steps as he continued to search the upper level. If he was walking a bit faster now, well then that was nobody else’s business. 

He wasn’t getting enough sleep, that was it. He knew how to settle himself. Jim called upon the myriad of Vulcan meditation techniques his beloved had been teaching him since they bonded, quick exercises to regain his control and strengthen his mind, to calm the anxiety that always seemed to rest inside of him like sediment along a river floor.

He could feel the steady thrumming of his mental shields like a current through that very river, running over the jagged rocks and eroding away their sharp edges the longer it flowed. He knew that it was a band aid solution, it didn’t stop the emotions, it didn’t whisk them away- it just hid them, controlled them until he was able to meditate on it later. Or let his body naturally guide his subconscious through his feelings in the form of dreams. 

Or nightmares, as was the more prevalent case. Especially since the disastrous ending of their last mission. It was always bad for them when Jim had nightmares and unless Spock erected his own mental shields for himself and Leonard, they were at the mercy of them just as Jim was.

He knows it’s been tough on them, his dreams filled with burning buildings and his friend dying in his arms. He’s not sure what really gets through to them though, just that he gets the feeling they’re all walking on glass around each other whenever it happens, none of them willing to bring it up first- tension lasting until someone breaks it, Jim usually accomplished this with sex. A tried and true method, guaranteed to work even on Vulcans. 

Not that Jim bragged about that to anyone. 

He’d been meditating a lot lately, violently trying to deny himself even the possibility of dreams by a mix of meditation and exhausting himself so thoroughly his body had no real choice but to pull him into a sleep so deep, his mind couldn’t reach.

He couldn’t risk them seeing what he wasn’t willing to voice —not wanting them to know at all— but definitely not willing for them to potentially witness anything. Even if it wasn’t locked under the highest security clearance the federation had, seeing the wrong moment in one of his dreams, or his control slipping while in a meld, would be all it took for his partners to see him in a different, darker light. He couldn’t risk it. 

It was one of the reasons he had jumped on the library position in the first place, this being the last of his introductory shifts. His first official shift started next week, it would be a welcome change to feeling like he was sitting around doing nothing in comparison to his partners- Spock had been immediately asked by the Academy Science Division to take over several major projects, his expertise invaluable due to his time in deep space. And Leonard, his old job at the hospital practically rolled out the red carpet to invite him back in. 

Between everything, Jim had been spending more and more time alone. Not that he was complaining. He still had responsibilities with the Enterprise, and the Admiralty was not neglecting him completely. But his unofficial shoreleave sure felt more like a prison sentence as the days dragged on, sometimes he felt like he was just waiting for his partners to get home. Even with all the guest lecturing he had been doing, everything could only keep him occupied for so long. And the more time he had to himself . . . the more his mind would wander to why he had all this time. It wasn’t something he wanted to think about. 

It just made it harder to keep the river in his mind flowing clear and deep.

There were those footsteps again, closer to him this time, as if whoever it was was passing just behind him. He could even feel the air move, the hair on his neck sticking up as goosebumps ran down his back, he turned in a split second, expecting to see a figure standing directly behind him, Herat lunging into his throat as the adrenaline kicked in.

There was no one around, no more footsteps, no movement within the rows upon rows of unmoving books. 

He’d covered more than half the area already, if there had been anyone rushing around odds he would have seen them by now, even if it was just a glimpse. He called out to the computer, using the authorization code Miss Campbell had given him for emergencies. There was no one upstairs except for him.

Jim turned around, behind back down the other side of the upper stacks. Lost in thought with the assurance that whoever had been here was gone. There hadn’t been anyone creeping up behind him. He was beginning to feel like Tommy, jumping to the worst case scenario. 

God. Tommy. The very name sent an ache deep down in his chest. Hurting no less with the few months that had passed. He would constantly tell himself that he’d done everything he could. That what was going on with Tommy was something he didn’t have the resources to help with. That he had done right with the information that he had.

He felt like he was lying to himself. 

Jim finally reached the section with the book, located in the exact spot he assumed it would be. The golden lettering of the spine stood out to him like a beacon among the sea of other books.

He hadn’t touched a physical copy of the book in almost twenty years. The one he’d had originally, already second hand, had been lost as it crumbled and fell apart with use. He hadn't wanted to replace it, keeping a copy on PADDs instead. 

He knelt down to pick the book off the shelf. From the way the pages split in the middle, it was obvious that there was a note resting inside. Whoever had left him the first message had been serious about playing a game.

Jim let the small thrill of being right flooded through him, letting it mingle against the bond in his mind, he was always careful to allow the positive emotions he felt touch it, in case his partners happened to be examining it, as Spock so often was. He would usually feel a slight warmth but he never knew exactly how much of what he felt got through, best to keep the negative emotions as far away as possible, while allowing the bond to grow and thrive under positive attention. 

At least that’s what he had gathered from Spock's explanations and the myriad of research he had done after they’d all been joined in the hot desert of New Vulcan. 

He pulled the note out of the book, tucking it carefully under his arm before unfolding it, the credit chip boasting 100 credits, double the amount of the last one. He immediately ruled out any students being behind whatever was happening. While credits weren’t the be all and end all of society, like money had been in previous centuries, it still wasn’t something cadets could be throwing away like this. The amount is equal to the Academy’s monthly extracurricular stipend; in Jim’s case it had usually been spent on night outs, the good old days. 

He tucked the credit chip behind the note as he read it, frowning the further down he got. 

  
  


[Image Description]

Jim,

I knew your intelligence would make this fun, as well as your need to see things through. That glorious vision of doing good is so often the sanguine mirage of so many good minds.

Visit me where his hounds howls ceased,

light glinting off the false calm of the water.

  
  


Love

Governess of Games

[End Description]

  
  
  
  
  


Another quote, its meaning teasing at the back of Jim’s mind. He flipped to the page in the book, known instinctively where to find it. Mouthing the words to himself as he read the content- a habit he hadn’t been able to shake since . . .

Since Tarsus. When he would read Tommy and Susie the book, over and over. How he kept reciting passages together Riley to sleep, even though they didn’t have the book anymore, lost in a raid, probably still on that forsaken planet, rotting into the ground, reclaimed by the dirt. Just like everything else good on that planet. 

A hand clasped Jim’s shoulder, his whole body tensed up, head snapping to the side to see who it was, fear running through his veins like ice water.

“Easy, Darlin’” Leonard was smiling at him, his eyes wrinkled at the corners with concern, or maybe just emphasised by the dark bags under his beautiful eyes. A sure sign he had been working too hard.

The silence lasted a beat too long before Jim replied.“Hey.”

“Hey yourself, everything alright.”

“Yeah.” He replied too fast this time. He fought the urge to physically shake himself. “Yeah just, closing up the uppers.” He gestured around them, as if Bones didn’t know exactly where they were.

“I can see that.” Leonard gently pushed on his shoulder, encouraging Jim to turn around, his eyes quickly taking him in- checking him over. “You gonna borrow that again?”

Jim looked down, having forgotten what exactly it was that he was holding. “No, I was just. No, yeah, I’m gonna check it out.” He changed his mind halfway through.

“What’s going on, Jim?” Leonard cut through the bullshit, his concern having grown with each word Jim stumbled over. 

Jim took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the two credit chips. “Someone’s been very generous tonight.”

Leonard gave a whistle at the amounts embedded in the chips. “Sweet, dinners on you Jim.” He slung the hand he had on Jim’s shoulder over his back, pulling him in close and not so subtly leading him towards the exit. “Who gave you these?” 

“I found a note on my chair, no idea who left it there.” He finally started to explain as Leonard manhandled him back to the stairs, flicking the light switch as Jim entered the sequence to secure the upper levels. 

“So, what, some random person decided to make your boring day more interesting?” Leonard questioned. “Why didn’t you tell Security?”

“Tell them what?” Jim felt more like himself, turning his head to give Leonard an incredulous look. “Some guy left a note on my chair, gave me some money and asked if I wanted to play.”

The corner of Leonard's lip twitched up slightly, a dead give away he was about to nitpick something about Jim’s statement. “Governess generally refers to a lady, Jim.” 

“Whatever.” Jim rolled his eyes. His foot missed the next step, and he would have fallen if Leonard hadn’t tightened his arm around his shoulder, his fingers clawing into Jim and pulling him into his chest, grabbing onto the railing with his free hand. The jerky movement would have caused Jim to fall if Leonard didn’t have such strength in his arms. 

“Jeez, where’s your head at tonight?” Leonard said in a gruff tone, sliding his arm down to wrap around Jim’s waist and guiding them down to the ground level. “And no, you’d tell them someone left something addressed to you, leaving you money and no indication of who they are. That’s classified as a threat Jim.”

‘It’s not a threat.” He took them back to his desk. Slipping out of Leonard's grip he dropped the book on the desk. grabbing his jacket and making sure everything was still in his pockets, shifting the note into his jacket at just the perfect angle forLeonard to miss his actions. He hadn’t told him exactly what it said, having an inkling of what it could mean but not wanting to say too much without further proof. Just because his mind had immediately jumped to a conclusion didn’t mean it was the correct one. “Just someone having some fun.”

“I don’t feel that someone leaving my husband random notes and money can be classified as fun.” Jim didn’t reply, not wanting to start a fight. 

Leonard sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Well, Playtime's over. Let’s see if Spock can get off early and then we can check out that new rabbit food place he’s been snarky about.” Jim hummed his agreement. “You gonna check the book out?” 

He gestured to the novel Jim had placed down on the desk. He’d completely forgotten it was there. 

“Oh. Actually no.” He put it down into the return pile behind the desk. He hadn’t been able to read a physical copy of the book in years and he didn’t want to start now. Not with everything that had happened with Tommy. 

They slipped out of the library, the kiosks locking behind Jim automatically signally the end of borrowing hours. The chill wind hit them as they exited the building, making Jim shiver. He hated being cold more than almost anything else, unable to stand the way it would seep into his skin and take up residence in his bones. 

It was a fact his partners knew and took advantage of whenever possible, more than happy to pull him close and keep him warm, just like now: Leonard wrapping his arm around Jim’s waist, pulling him in until their sides touched all the way down, head bent to talk straight into Jim’s ear as his warm breath tickled his face. He wrapped his own arm around Leonard as they began to walk, content to just listen to the man's soothing southern voice. Years of closeness allowed them to keep in time with each other's steps, barely stumbling as they made their way down the concrete pathways of the Academy. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Leonard didn’t say anything as Jim took the leftward path, too busy ranting about the rowdy men that had been loitering outside of thehospital entrance- _‘no damn respect for anyone, Jimmy. I bet even their own mothers had a hard time loving that bunch.’-_ even with the lampposts illuminating their way, the darkness felt pressing in on all sides. As if the lights were fading, just enough to notice before turning back, like a slow pulse, feeling like things were entering and fading as the light caressed the darkness. 

He needed to calm down. Even if the lights actually were doing that It was easily explained by the holiday season. It was just unfortunate for Jim’s mental state that the event the academy had decided to put their yearly budget into happened to be Halloween. He doesn’t know whose bright idea it had been to select a single event to celebrate at the academy, instead of trying to acknowledge all of them.

He suspected it was an excuse to deny extended leave requests from a large quantity of the incredibly diverse student body, but he wasn’t going to poke that particular hornets nest. As inclusive as Starfleet claimed to be, Jim knew that if certain files hadn’t been sealed with the highest clearance only, and his name redacted because of his age, he wouldn’t have been picked off that bar floor by Pike all those years ago. 

He’d even been lucky enough that in his second year that they’d chosen Hanukkah. A tradition he and Spock had kept up every year on the enterprise, though they celebrated Passover instead. 

Even if it had originally just been individually, Spock catching him in the medbay the night Passover had ended, complaining to Bones about his stomachs ache. A plight his friend had no sympathy over, saying if Jim wanted to ‘eat more bread than a damn bakery can make’ he could deal with the consequences. 

Their shared heritage had been something that had helped them mend bridges and become friends over. 

The celebrations at the Academy that year had been a lot nicer then, the decorations they had invested in for Halloween looking almost tacky against the elite academy background. Various pumpkin displays that appeared whenever the path split off in different directions, pointing out the way to the ‘Au-boo-torium’ or the ‘Mad Science Building’ 

Tacky. 

At least they were holograms. Jim could tell by the glimmering effect they gave off, looking too uniform and shiny to be real. A static line occasionally glitched through them further proving his theory, you’d think by celebrating one event a year they’d invest in something better than the bottom of the range shit they did. Though it did mean that he wouldn’t have to walk past rotting pumpkins in a few weeks time. He would take the holograms over that any day. 

He pulled them along the path to the science building, taking a sharp right via the fountain that Jim always tried his best to avoid. 

They reached their destination before Leonard finished his rant- not that that was saying much in Jim’s experience- he could map the Milky Way in less time than it took him to get through one of his family’s infamous peach picking meltdowns. 

The statue stood in the middle of a fountain- having been placed there to keep it more secure from those that would damage it, a common occurrence with the pledges each year. The academy’s solution, instead of getting rid of the offending statue, was to add more security. The lights that surrounded the statue, however, only served to make the entire area sinister at night. Jim almost took the fog forming above the water for dry ice- another thing Jim wouldn’t have put past the academy decorating committee. 

“Why’d’ya take us this way?”Leonard asked, forcing them to a stop.

“Look.” Jim pointed at the man, his impossibly tall figure rising above the dogs flanking him, head jutted upwards, looking to the stars. One foot was raised and bent at the knee, as if he was getting ready to leap off the box it was resting on. 

The Tarsus Massacre Memorial. The very same statute that had stood in the main square of Kodos’ colony.

The lights didn’t allow a clear view of Kodos chest, but Jim could clearly make out a new addition to the statue. The frayed rope in a hangman’s knot pulled loose around his neck, dangling down to where a bit of paper was sticking to his copper chest. He couldn’t make out the writing on it from this distance, the light not reaching high enough and Kodos’ face shrouded in the dark. Not that it was an actual likeness to the ugly bastard. But Jim felt it was a safe bet to assume the letter was his. The dogs at Kodos’ side had to be the hounds the letter was referring to. All the jokes he and Tommy use to make about them playing at the forefront of his mind. 

How did they know to send him here? how did they know it meant something to him?That’s where the real mystery was. It was possible someone noticed the notes in his record about his write ups in regards to the monument, or maybe his actions were still considered the stuff of legend at his old fraternity. 

Maybe, far less likely but much more sinister, they knew about Tarsus. What Jim had done there. 

“Jim, are you serious.” Leonard tried to pull Jim away, hand tightening around his waist. Jim refused to budge. “Let's just go to Spock.”

“There’s no harm in checking.” He reasoned. 

“Yes there is. You could break your damn fool neck trying to climb up that slippery death trap.” Leonard grunted as he continued to try and move Jim. “As your doctor and your husband I’m telling you no.”

“As your captain, I don’t concede to your authority,” Jim replied easily, almost absentmindedly as he unwrapped himself from Leonards grip. “It’ll just take a moment.”

His husband spluttered out more objections as Jim began to remove his shoes, pulling them off haphazardly as he stumbled towards the edge of the fountain. It shouldn’t be that deep. No more than shin height he assumed, as he rolled up his pant legs. 

It felt wrong to disturb the still body of water, the fog wrapping around his exposed skin in an instant. He began to doubt his assumption as his foot continued to sink down, he almost pulled it out before his toes sank into a squishy substance at the bottom, causing a shudder to go up his whole body. 

He couldn’t see the substance through the fog, he hoped it wasn’t something man made as he sunk his other foot down into the depths, arms shooting out to balance himself as he began to walk. The way his feet squelched through whatever coated the bottom of the fountain made his journey difficult. Surely they couldn’t be letting algae grow, he’d assumed they’d keep the water sterile, especially with how many students swam in it. A game of chicken to see who would touch Kodos. 

Jim had no trouble winning that particular dare, his fraternity unaware that Jim used to play on that very statue as a kid.

“Why are you walking like that?” Leonard called out, too loud in the quiet that surrounded them. 

“Slippery.” Jim called back, hoping Leonard wouldn’t investigate- or if he did that he wouldn’t tell Jim what it was. It was almost a relief when he reached the statue without falling, until he remembered he’d have to climb it.

If he’d thought further ahead he would have brought his shoes along to help him grip. But it was too late now, there was no way he was walking back and letting Leonard catch sight of whatever was sinking into the soles of his feet. 

On the statue, attached to the podium Kodos’ foot rested on, was a plaque, commemorating the individuals who had tragically lost their lives during the Tarsus Massacre, and their memory that lived on in those that survived and thrived under the weight of adversity. 

Jim had managed to destroy it three times before they almost expelled him over it. 

Gripping the podium he hoisted himself out of the water, hand resting on the head of the copper canine in front of him.

He glanced down at his feet, there was nothing visible on his skin but Jim could still feel the texture sliding against the soles of his feet, dripping out between his toes in a way water would not. Almost like someone had coated the bottom of the fountain in petroleum jelly. Or lube. 

He chose to believe it was the former option.

He sighed to himself when he realised whoever was playing these games on him must have coated the fountain to make it harder for him to reach the new note. He guessed he had to earn his money this time- if it really was going to be two hundred credits. 

Using the strength he had gained from years of intense work outs he hoisted himself onto the statue, being careful to balance himself as he brough up his feet, planting them firmly on the copper below him before he continued his ascent. He made sure to keep one hand anchored at any given moment as he shifted his body, not trusting his feet to remain under him. 

He put his weight down on his right foot, dubbed his ‘weak ankle’ by Leonard, immediately living up to its namesake as it buckled under his weight as he shifted onto it, trying to use the dogs head to push himself high enough to reach the statue's raised thigh. 

A high pitched noise ripped through the silence, triggering a flash memory of the very dogs these statues depicted; how loudly one had squealed, echoing around the river bank after being shot trying to attack Jim. It took him longer than it should have to realise the noise was not in fact the statues coming to life- but the sound of his foot slipping. 

He let out a short, derisive laugh as he exhaled, the tension leaving him so fast it made his arms tingle. His head resting against the thigh of the imposing man. The statue’s designer had included an artistic crease in Kodos’ pant legs, a very old school choice. The real reason it was there, jim assumed, was to stop people climbing on it. Not that it had worked for him and his friends. 

“Hurry up, Jim. It's damn cold out here.” He heard Leonard yell out, sounding like it was coming from underwater with the blood still rushing past his ears. 

“Well do you want me to go fast or get back unhurt. I can’t do both.” 

He couldn’t hear the words of Leonard’s reply, but the familiar noise of him no doubt cursing up a storm soothed Jim. This gave him time to get his mind and muscles back under control as he hoisted himself up higher, moving his leg up and over to awkwardly straddle the statue.

It had been huge when he was twelve and it didn’t look that much smaller now. The man had acted like he was larger than life, and now with the only thing remaining of his legacy a statue eighteen metric units tall. 

The sharp rise in the copper metal dug painfully into Jim’s thigh, feeling like it was trying to separate his leg from his hip with how it dug into the socket. He couldn’t shift around too much, the sharp slopes on either side threatening to drop him down into the fountain. He pressed his hand down, palm flat against kodos’ thigh as he tried to take some of the pressure off. 

Jim was glad the statue was sturdy, not wanting to have to explain the compromising position he was in if the damn thing suddenly broke. The Admiralty surely wouldn’t approve of an esteemed Captain such as himself straddling the lap of the most famous dictator in Federation history, all on account of a game created by a mysterious figure calling themselves the Governess. 

Hell he didn’t know how he was going to explain it to his partners either, or even keep it a secret from them much longer. As beautiful as the bond was, it sure didn’t leave much in the way of privacy. He’d been a natural from the start with putting up mental shields, having to be coached by Spock into letting them down enough for the bond to grow instead of cutting off. Even after two years he struggled to keep them down enough to let Spock in during meditation sessions, occasionally pushing spock out violently when he travelled too deep.

He knows he’s been flying blind so far. Everything was reminding him of Tarsus, memories he’d worked so hard to keep buried bobbing to the surface of his mind. The sediment hiding the depths eroding away with the very river that was meant to keep it hidden.

Jim reached up, fingers sliding against the cold copper, fumbling blindly in the dark. The letter was just out of his reach, the rope not reaching down far enough for him to grab it. In the lack of light Jim’s eyes played tricks on him, the rope almost seemed to glimmer with the reflection of the lights off the water. Although the fog should have masked that. 

He fought the urge to rub at his eyes, whatever had been coating the bottom of the fountain was also smeared all over the statues chest, making him hesitant to touch too much, he didn’t want it all over his uniform when they went to see their husband.

He fully expected Spock to be affectionate, as he always was when they had to spend a few hours apart, the Vulcan craved intimate contact with his partners whenever he could get it. It had been a running joke on the Enterprise that if you saw Spock and them in a turbolift, you were better off waiting for the next one.

Not that they did anything untoward, it just startled people to see Spock try and wrap his whole body around his partners. 

Jim shifted on his seat, carefully placing a leg under him, hoping he’d be able to stand up, even for only a moment.

The sharp crease in Kodos’ pants stopped that plan before it got too far, he should have brought his damn shoes. Not only was the metal too sharp for his bare foot, the second he tried to push himself upward he’d slip, thanks to the petroleum on his feet. 

He shuffled as close to kodos as possible, being careful not to touch any of the sections that looked slippery. If he could manage to grab onto the rope, he could anchor himself enough to pluck the note from the statue’s chest and slip it into a waterproof pocket. He hoped whatever substance was covering the metal in front of him wasn’t seeping into the note, what a wasted effort if he couldn’t even read it.

Enough stalling, he took a deep breath and pushed up, hand reaching out to wrap around the rope.

The seemingly solid twine slid through his fingers, it was a hologram, glitching out of view as his fingers went completely through to the other side, his momentum driving him forward. Frantically he slammed his hand against the chest, hoping to catch himself before gravity began to reclaim him.

His hand slid against the metal, offering no resistance or sympathy as he lost his balance. In a last bid he scraped his fingers against the note, gripping it tightly as he fell into the water below, his free arm raised to protect his head. 

The shocking cold of the water numbed him to the violent impact against the concrete bottom. Whatever substance that had been smeared on the floor coated him as he struggled to stand back up. 

“Jim.” He could hear his husband yell, the ground vibrating as Leonard rushed through the water to get to him. Jim looked down at his hand, At least the note had been real. It was now soaked, however, the coating from the statue not being enough to keep it dry from Jim’s fall.

“I’m fine.” Jim said quickly, rushing to reassure his love as the man grabbed his arm to pull him the rest of the way up. “Nothing hurt but my ego.”

“Lord knows that could use some deflating.” Leonard agreed, a smile already on his lips but his eyes still crinkled in concern as he moved Jim’s arm around, checking for any damage. “What the hell are you covered in?”

“I guess they wanted to make it more of a challenge, covering the fountain and the statue.”

“In what, lube?” Bones scrunched his nose up. “Let’s get outta here.”

Jim agreed and they slowly made their way to the side of the fountain, having to catch themselves several times from falling over on the slippery floor. 

“Are ya’ done playing games now?” Bones questioned once they were safely out of the water, rubbing the gel from between his toes on the immaculate grass.

“Were you coming to help me?” Jim avoided the question.

“You were taking your damn time, thought you could use a hand, I didn’t expect you to jump.” 

“I thought I’d be able to grab the rope.” He shook his head like a dog. The cold quickly set in; the breeze settling under his clothing and making a home under his skin. He hated being cold, but being wet and cold was even worse. 

“Well you proved you wrong.” Leonard snarked as Jim slid his shoes back on, deciding it was best to keep going than to linger around the scene of their crime. 

Leonard kept up the barrage of comments all the way to spock's office, pausing only to fill him in on why he was raving, before launching back into his rant.

Jim knew exactly what was coming the moment Spock tilted his head towards him, fingers coming up to trace along his jaw. They didn’t need a physical connection for a mind meld, not since they had all been bonded.

Which was a whole adventure in itself. Jim’s side of the bond being locked up tighter than a Klingon prison complex, and Leonard being so open he hadn’t been able to hide a single thing from either of them.

Though it had been very flattering knowing just how many times a day Leonard was checking him out, his filthy thoughts broadcasted to them so loud it was no surprise they’d all jumped into bed and made the best of their new situation. 

Jim treasured the intimacy of Spocks touch before he entered his mind, and liked the distinct shift between their work relationship and their intimate one. —Well, he had when they were working together, their jobs would still be seperate still for at least the next six months. 

He tilted his head, meeting Spock’s gaze at the same moment he felt Spock’s presence slide into his mind, just like the fog that had slid around his skin at the fountain, invading every molecule of space it could, surrounding and penetrating him on a deeper level than any previous lover had.

‘ _Or will_.’ Spock's possessive voice slid through him like honey.

While all melds were considered intimate acts, how deep into the psyche they went varied. Spock brushed gently over Jim’s emotions, checking him over with his telepathy just as Leonard had with his hands after Jim’s fall. 

Just as easy to misdirect. 

Jim let his embarrassment at the fall be the dominant emotion, weaving in his curiosity, his sense of adventure flaring up as it had when he first read the note, and the satisfaction of being right about where the second one would be.

As he let these emotions rise like bubbles to the surface of a river, he let the rest sink, not letting spock even near the anxiety that still thrummed low in his body.

It was over as quickly as it had begun, spocks fingers having never stopped their momentum up his jaw, carding through the hair at his temple, both in a soothing gesture and to flatten it out where the water had caused it to dry sticking up. 

“And we’re done now aren’t we, Jim?” Bones finally ended his rant, both eyebrows raised sky high, clearly waiting for Jim to agree with him.

“Of course.” He said without missing a beat. “And dinner’s on me.”

He pulled out the credit chip he’d removed from the soggy paper when Bones had been too busy ranting. Having easily swallowed the noise he almost made when he checked and saw that there was indeed two hundred credits on it. 

Bones let out a low whistle when he caught sight of the number. “Thank you, Governess.” He pulled the other two chips out of his own pocket, twiddling them between his fingers like a professional gambler showing off. “Reckon we can get a table at the fancy new greenhouse you were spouting off about, spock?”

“I was hardly ‘spouting off’,” He defended, an offended look directed at Leonard. “I mentioned it once the other day, Uhura said T’pring thought most highly of it.”

“Yeah yeah we get it, you don’t think we take you out enough.” Bones continued to tease. “Just admit you want us to spoil you like Uhura does her Vulcan.” 

“Wanting to spend quality time with one's mates hardly constitutes being spoilt.” Spock shot back, hands leaving Jim to turn fully towards Bones.

Jim turned towards spock's desk, slipping the rest of the note out of his pocket and unfolding it gently. Thankfully the water hadn’t completely ruined it but it was still dripping.

Delicately he grabbed a few of the tissues Spock kept on his desk, dabbing at the paper, being careful not to rub at the bleeding ink.

Thinking fast he grabbed the notebook he had ‘left’ in spocks office for a different occasion, pressing tissues to the open pages before gently sliding the note between them and shutting it tight- he could always find another excuse to slide into spocks office during work hours. Not that spock would be fooled. 

“Ashayam.” Spock spoke over the noise of a long winded Southern metaphor, one that even Jim had lost track of about three contractions in. In his hands was a small towel as well as his meditation robes. “This will be more comfortable than what you are currently wearing.”

“Are you sure?” 

Spock raised his eyebrow, not offering any other answer. 

“Thank you.” He felt Spock's mind brush against his, a soothing warm against the cold that had settled within him. 

Stripping out of his wet clothing, Jim towelled himself dry as best he could, using the opposite side to try and slide the gel off his skin. Spock helped him adjust the robe, it fit awkwardly compared to how it sat perfectly on his husband. It was too long on him, too wide in the shoulders, making him feel like he was playing dress up instead of wearing an important piece of Spock’s culture. He didn’t feel adequate. 

“How do I look.” He punished himself by asking anyway. 

Leonard replied first “Like a kid playing dress up.” Ouch.

“Like you are mine.” Oh.

Jim could feel his face heat up at spock's words, he didn’t think he’d ever get used to the intensity with which spock looked at him at times. No shame in the way he would declare his affections now that they were bonded. 

Slapping a smirk on his face he reached out to Spock, trailing his fingers along his wrists before grabbing his hands and pulling him in closer, setting Spock's hands on his hips. He could feel the heat from Spock's palms burning against him through the silky fabric. 

Jim sent his interest along the bond, letting Spock know just how hot his comment had made him. 

The reaction was instant, Spock pressing forward and meeting Jim in a human kiss, the initial feel of him always a shock, his body temperature lower than his human partners. It had been an adjustment, but the heat of Spock’s mouth, the fires in his mind that burned in the background as they had on the fateful day they’d accidentally bonded, heating Jim up from the mind outwards. 

Spock used his grip on Jim’s hips to hold their bodies together, the robe quickly warming up and rubbing over Jim’s sensitive skin with the movements. His own hands moving up to tug off Spock's jacket, the pristine uniform offering no help with it’s multitude of tiny buttons. 

“You look so sexy in black silk,” Leonard pushed up beside them, kissing up Jim’s neck and trying to slide his hands inside the robe. He struggled to find the opening in the mess of fabric.

“The fabric is not silk it-“ Jim cut him off by sucking Spock’s tongue into his mouth, pressing his lips along the length as he drew back before pulling it back into his mouth with a moan. Spock’s hips twitched against him, Jim could feel where Spock’s lok had begun to slip out of his genital pouch. Always so quick to get revved up.

Bones began to gather the fabric up in his hands, pulling it up to get at Jim’s skin. It wasn’t the most effective way, but Jim wasn’t going to tell him that, the silk running against his body making him feel electric. He pressed his hips forward, grinding against spock and giving Leonard enough room to pull the robe up enough to get his hands on Jim’s skin, his nails scratching at Jim’s lower back and making him gasp into spock's mouth.

Spock was quick to turn the kiss around, pressing more into Jim, his hand coming up to cup the back of his neck.

Jim could feel Spock’s amusements through the bond, catching on to the fact that he’d cut Leonard off from his neck with the same move, his smugness growing at Leonard’s indignant squark. 

That wouldn’t do. Jim turned his head away from Spock, having to pull his tongue out of Spock’s mouth when Spock tried to keep him still, a trail of spit linking their mouths before Leonard took full advantage and licked his own way into Jim. 

The kisses were filthy, he could feel Leonard’s stubble scratching against his face. Spock moved to lick at the seam where their lips met on the side, taking advantage every time they would pull back for more air. 

Jim moved his hand, trying to slip up Leonards shirt, fingertips grazing over his stomach and slipping gently higher, rubbing his thumb over the doctor’s nipple when he reached it,

As nice as it was, Jim couldn’t stop the nagging feeling at the back of his head. The one that reminded him how long it had been since he ate. The promise of food cutting through even the aching hardness he felt at his bondmates’ affections.

“ ‘m hungry, and I know you are, too.” He directed at Spock. The man had his own set, rigid schedule, one Jim always found comfort in.

“My hunger is not that which requires food.” Spock growled out, his sentence structure breaking down as Jim could feel the stream of Vulcan words brush against his mental barriers, his hand sliding up the length of Jim’s interested cock.

“Maybe we should just go home, skip straight to dessert.” Bones said between the kisses he had begun to press up Jim’s neck again. The man knew his weak spots too well. 

“As tasty as that sounds, gentlemen.” Jim spoke up, voice sounding husky but determined. A nice mix Jim called aroused, but still in charge. “I worked hard for these credits. I believe I am owed dinner.” It was almost ironic that of all of them, Jim ‘T for Tomcat’ Kirk had the best control on his libido, a fact that had gotten him out of ‘trouble’ multiple times. He knew his face was red though, and no doubt Spock would be calculating the percentage his eyes had dilated with his affections. 

“Very well.” Spock sounded both smug and frustrated, all without any sign of either on his face as he pulled away, his warm hand slipping back out from under Jim’s robe as he straightened his own uniform. 

Oh, well, maybe there was one rather obvious outward sign. Jim couldn’t stop the instinctive lick he gave his lips, chasing the taste of his lovers mouth from it. 

“If we are to leave this office without copulating then we should depart now. “

“Your famous vulcan control ain’t working, huh?” Leonards mocking tone was ruined by the breathless quality to his voice, his eyes glued to where Jim had been looking.

He grabbed the notebook that held his note off the desk, clapping bones on the shoulder as he did and walking out of the office, calling over his shoulder to his mates “d’ya think we should comm ahead or just rock up and see if they have a table?”

He held the door open for them, already bickering to each other about what they should do. It was almost too easy at times- distracting them. If they couldn’t do it to him just as easily then Jim might have been a bit put out. 

While they moved into the hall, bickering away, Jim took the quick second to slip off his underwear, chucking it on the pile of clothing he was leaving there as an excuse to visit Spock tomorrow after his guest lecture on Supernovas. 

They walked out of the building, cool air feeling like it was blowing right through the thin fabric designed for the heat of Vulcan and not an October night in San Francisco. Maybe he should have left his underwear on. Spock reached out, lacing his fingers with Jim as they made their way down the street, going the more traditional route to where they had parked their car.

He could feel the electric spark go up his arm at the contact, their bond arching between them like a particularly satisfied cat. 

Or maybe that was just the emotions Spock was broadcasting to him. Jim sent them right back, meeting Spock's heat with his own, visualising the other emotions, the ones he didn’t want to express, sinking down into the depths of the river, unable to be seen by the light of their bond. He wouldn’t take away the time they had together just because he was a little shaken up, he wasn’t a little kid anymore desperately reaching out for his mother. 

He could never be entirely sure how successful he was, not being as experienced at mental bonds as spock, or as natural at them as Leonard. But he wasn’t considered a genius for nothing. Besides, even if they could sense his turbulent emotions, they were at least respecting his privacy enough not to call him out on them. 

Even if it would be easier if they did. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The restaurant was exactly as Leonard had described it, seeming more like a greenhouse with pillows on the floor than an actual restaurant. Plants acted like barriers between tables, as well as climbing the wall and hanging down precariously from the ceiling. 

They hadn’t called in the end, if they had been anyone else Jim’s sure they would have been sent away. As it was the hostess practically did somersaults securing them a table, directing them to their area almost without breaking their stride. Spock was already placing their orders as they got settled.

“Handy having you two around.” Leonard settled down, leaning back on his hand as Spock sat properly next to him, feet folded under him in the correct position.

Jim sat on the other side, placing his notebook beside him on the floor, out of sight of the two men. 

“Indeed,” Spock agreed.

Leonard sat back up, leaning into Spock’s personal space, “You didn’t even have to look at the menu before ordering for the table.”

“I am aware.”

Leonard grinned, “So did T’pring tell you what was on the menu or did you look it up?”

“There is logic in looking up the menu of a restaurant we might visit, with Jim’s allergies.”

Jim shot spock a look that clearly said _‘Don’t drag me into this, I’m just here for the show’._ Either Spock was getting very good at reading Jim’s nuanced expressions or he’d heard him loud and clear through the bond. It was most likely the latter. 

“Just admit that you’ve been dying to come here.” Leonard crooned.

“I have not been dying.” Spock said, changing the topic a little too fast to what he had been working on that day, Leonard smiling like he’d won the argument. 

Jim considered it a draw. 

He looked around the room, taking in both the scenery, and the other patrons. His eyes lingering on a young family, two kids fighting over colouring pencils, the eldest- a girl, teasing her sibling, tongue poking out at them before being reprimanded by her father. 

“Everything ok, Jim?” Leonard sounded concerned, it was only then that Jim realised his face had fallen into a frown, turbulent emotions slipping out of his grasp and grazing against the bond. If it wouldn’t raise more questions he’d be kicking himself at the slip. 

A lump formed in his throat, knowing his partners would accept no explanation but the truth. Having latched onto the emotion, their concern through the bond held the feeling tight, not letting him sink it away from their mental gaze. 

Telling the truth, however, would ruin their night. It would upset Leonard in a manner so visceral that Jim himself would feel the psychic backlash like a whip. Spock had followed his line of sight, catching on immediately to Jim’s thoughts as the family continued to be blissfully unaware of the strain their simple presence caused.There was a reason Jim kept such a tight leash on his bad emotions, only letting things he knew would be accepted and cherished by his husbands through, only allowing them to love him unconditionally instead of letting them see how ugly and undesirable he really was in his thoughts. 

He’d have to let them in now, to play off the thought would just do more damage, especially if Spock caught onto his thoughts based on where he had been looking, his head already tilting in the same direction Jim’s had been looking. 

“We should visit her grave soon.” He said, almost in a whisper. The reaction was instant, Spock stiffening in his seat and leonard looking down a t the table, his eyes snapping down and away so fast it looked almost painful. 

It had been so long since that day, since Jim had died in the warp core trying to fix everything. So long since he’d scrambled to fix the multitude of mistakes he always seemed to make. Not able to act fast enough to keep Khan crashing into earth, not able to help as thousands of people lost their lives, Starfleet and civilians alike. 

It had been nearly six years since a little girl just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and her father was too busy saving the life of his captain to get the bad news. Too busy using all his resources on an experimental treatment that could have saved the life of someone far more precious. If he’d heard the news in time and not several days later, having been running on pure adrenaline as Jim’s life signs had fluctuated between being stable and crashing.

Leonard’s side of the bond sung with such agony for a few moments that Jim thought he was going to pass out, his vision darkening before Spock was able to contain the emotional outpour.

That happened whenever the doctor felt things too strongly. The shields in his mind were paper thin and often prone to breaking. It wasn’t uncommon for the excess emotion to burst out of Jim’s side of the bond, Leonard wearing his heart on his sleeve, so to speak. 

Often it was amusing, today it was devastating. Jim missed Joanna in his own way, he’d gotten to know her through scheduled calls in their shared dorm while Leonard told her all about their adventures. Heavily embellished and censored of course. He’d been her honorary uncle. A title he still held dear to his chest. He’d never got to be anything more before she died. 

Jim had some inkling of what it was like to lose a child, having had to bury a few kids he considered his family. But the pain Leonard felt, even after so many years cut him down to the very center of his being. Hurt in a way he didn’t think was possible even after so much time, he hadn’t been around when Leonard first got the news, a fact he always regretted. 

And here he was now, making leonard relive the worst pain of his life as if it was all happening again. Just because he couldn’t keep a lid on his emotions, letting out things that only served to hurt his partners. 

“Yeah.” Leonard replied, his voice sounding no louder than a whisper, the initial stab of pain having taken his breath away. Jim could feel the emotions as if they were his own still, Spock only able to block out so much with how much of an open emotional book Leonard was. 

He could feel the guilt, having gone so long without a visit, even though her burial sight was in the same city they were stationed in. He reasoned with himself that he’d just been so busy; had so much to do with the hospital, all the ideas he had for medical advancements while in deep space, advancements he could personally work on now that he wasn’t the harried CMO of a starship. 

Jim knew he had to make it better, and he could start with the way he’d managed to fuck up their night, the bond. Weighing down his self-loathing, the bitter hatred he felt at himself for being so uncontrolled and undisciplined, letting it fade into the depth of his psyche and instead allowing only deep compassion to slide into the bond and project to Leonard. Sending his love for Joanna, as well as his love for his husband to wrap around Leonard’s mind like a blanket. Trying to sooth the jagged thoughts and painful spikes that were still throbbing along the bond. 

The food arrived promptly, the waitress placing the food down in front of them. Jim hadn’t even thought to ask what Spock was ordering, unsurprised when his food looked like if someone had ripped a plant off the wall and thrown it at his plate from across the room.

If the plant had also been through their digestive system first.

“Y’know.” Leonard started, looking a bit unsure himself. “If we’re gonna be trying weird food, can it at least be from a species with the same digestive tract as us?”

“The Alpines do have a remarkably similar digestive system, they however evolved in a more aquatic environment.” Spock began like he was giving a lecture. The emotional slip on Jim’s part being pushed aside in favour of a safer topic. Jim was glad. He didn’t feel like he’d been doing any good.

Jim shoved a bite into his mouth, the texture feeling like he’d just put wet carpet in his mouth. The taste was strong enough to make his eyes water. He chewed methodically, swallowing his mouthful down in sections. “It’s actually not that bad.” He lied. 

“I’ve seen you survive weeks on nothin’ but ration bars and beer, Kid. You don’t have a horse in this race.” Leonard sassed him, immediately going back to arguing with Spock. 

Jim looked back down at his food, pushing it around with his fork for a bit before shoving more in his mouth, the taste from before no longer feeling overpowering. Across from him, Spock and Leonard continued to debate the merits of the cuisine, spock firmly in the pro corner. 

If there was ever going to be a time to read the note without them seeing, it would be now. Jim glanced down at the notebook, hand carefully flipping it open to the correct page, lifting the tissues away delicately as he strained to read the words. 

  


[image description]

_Jimmy,_

_You’ve always been a remarkable climber, such mastery, and with what sudden mastery you kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire._

_Thank you for playing with me. That’s all for tonight._

_But be ready for an adventure tomorrow._

  
  
  


_As pretty as he is, living bones aren’t welcome to play OUR game_

_Keep him away or he’ll be following your family traditions._

_Hugs and Kisses,_

_Governess Of Games_

_[End Description]_

  
  
  


Jim could feel the frown on his face as he reread the note several times, the entire thing rubbing him the wrong way. Of all the quotes to use. . . The second part was unequivocally a threat, he became uneasy as the implications of it spiraled in his mind. The game he was playing no longer harmless, like he had been assuming.

The line about family traditions repeated in his mind, his thought immediately drifting to the similarities between their families. Joanna was his first guess. _Living_ bones being a big clue to what the governess was implying.

“Jim?” Spock’s hand entered his line of sight. While thinking he’d turned his whole head to read the note, having gotten lost in staring at it. He reached down, folding the note up and placing it in his pocket before either of his partners could read it. 

He shrugged his shoulder, going for nonchalance “Just telling me she had a good time and that she’d talk to me later. Standard first date stuff.”

“Indeed.” Spock raised his eyebrow. 

“We discussed fine literature, she took me to see a statue. And now she’s paying for dinner.” Jim listed off the activities on his fingers. “Do you think she’ll wait three days to call me?”

Leonard rolled his eyes, the tension at Jim’s strange behaviour breaking in favour of his antics. “I think this date was a success, I might even put out.” He continued, making sure his partners were watching him as he leaned back. This he could do. He knew a lot more about the physical side of their relationship than he did the psyche, this is where he thrived, and where he could make up for his mistake.

“Do you think they serve dessert here,” Jim played with the top of his robe, loosening it enough to show off his clavicle, “or should we head back home for that.”

Spock was signaling their waitress almost before he’d finished his sentence.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


By the time they got home, however, Spock had logic’d himself into meditation before any more pleasant activities, coaxing Jim into joining him. It was a routine they had developed, both slipping into a meld at the same time, allowing Spock to feel where Jim’s mind had begun to try and block out the bond. After two years he still struggled, all the Vulcan mindfulness in the galaxy not enough to stop his human instincts. 

He’s sure the fact that he was constantly repressing certain things didn’t help, but he was solid in his reasoning. Somethings were better off not being shared, they would lead to darker things, and that’s when things would unravel. No, he wouldn’t let his thoughts spiral.

He tried to distract Spock instead, coming up behind his husband as he began to set out his incense burner. Easily sliding his hands up his husband's simple black shirt now that the Vulcan had removed his outer layer of uniform. How Spock worked in the labs day in and day out while wearing it would remain a mystery, no matter how many times Spock explained that comfort was a human emotion. 

Anyone who had seen the red silk that spock insisted decorating with would know that he was a big, vulcan liar. 

“Ashal-veh.” He loved when Spock called him darling, the name hitting the same spot in his heart as when Leonard did it. 

“T’hy’la.” He kissed the back of Spock's neck, standing on his tiptoes to begin to rub his cheek along the back of Spock’s hair, feeling the shudder that went down the Vulcan’s ridged spine. It wasn’t a name they used often, even though it was accurate. They reserved it for more intimate moments, moments they were lost in passion and intimacy. A moment Jim was trying his damn hardest to create to get out of meditation.

Spock turned around in his arms, moving to cup his face. Jim took the opportunity to dart forward, caressing Spock's lips with his own, his hands still moving under the Vulcan’s shirt and scratching his nails along his sensitive spine, pulling him closer in the process.

Spock melted into his arms, his emotions thrumming through Jim’s mind with the rapid beating of his heart. Or maybe that was Jim’s heart. It was hard to tell when they were this close. 

“Ashal-veh.” Spock tried again, the words breathed out along Jim’s lips and against his tongue as he darted it out to trace along Spock's top lip, asking for permission to come in.

Spock opened his mouth more, a moan leaving him and vibrating against Jim’s mouth as his tongue plunged deeper, still tracing the inside of Spocks upper lip before turning it into an opened mouth kiss. 

_‘Ashayam’_ Spock’s voice pleaded in a way it only did in his mind, when Jim ahd taken away his ability to talk in his controlled tone. _‘Meditation_.’ 

He sent Jim a mirror image of what he was receiving from him. Or rather, what he wasn’t. Jim instantly understood the message he was being sent. 

While Spock could feel the emotions that physically linked with Jim’s body, his arousal, his excitement at being intimate with his husband. 

He wasn’t receiving anything else. Not the traces of adrenaline that should be present. Not the hunger that he was no doubt feeling. It was like he was trying to peer into a room through glass that was both infinitely cracked as well as fogged out. 

It made his side of the bond yearn for more, wanting to turn the trickle of emotion that Jim was letting through into a downpour, like Leonard’s mind constantly was, to strengthen their bond and sooth his own turbulent emotions about not knowing if his mate was happy, beyond the surface level.

Jim was very careful in the next moment, only allowing his regret at his naturally extreme shielding to show against the bond, burrowing down deep the resentment he felt about being compared to their other husband. Shoving it down so deep the river couldn’t even try and erode away the sharp sting it caused him. It was best left in the dark. Never to see the light if Jim had anything to say about it. 

He needed time to centre himself, before he let spock in and he saw how wildly Jim’s mind processed everything that had been sent its way, the river feeling more like rapids as his looming negative emotions formed boulders and blockages in its path. He ahd to sink everything down lower.

“How about a shower first?” He said against Spock’s lips, letting go of the tongue he had begun to coax into his own mouth. He could hear it running in the background, Leonard slipping out of the room without a word when spock brought up meditation, as he always did. Jim couldn’t help but feel that Leonard was almost relieved at the excuse to get away, after Jim’s emotional slip up.

“Once meditation is done, other things can be more pleasurable.” Jim knows he means sex, knows that Spock knows he meant sex when he’d suggested the shower. it’s always better when his mental shields are lowered, more intimate, more everything.

“Is there a reason you do not want to meld, Jim.” Spock asked simply, having withdrawn enough that Jim could see his head tilted in curiosity, eyes searching and fingers poised to press against the meld points on his face, asking permission instead of assuming it was there.

Spock was catching on that something else was wrong. Jim couldn’t allow that. He’d denied the perfectly reasonable request for a meditation session- one that was all about helping him, too many times. He was doing more harm than good in his effort to convince Spock he was fine.

“No, Ashayam.” Spock always had a weakness for his partners using his mother tongue when addressing him. Another thing Jim used to his advantage. He withdrew from Spock’s arms completely, making a show of gathering the pillows they sat on, a gesture Spock had done to help Jim with the meditation, he would get fixated on the way the hard floor felt beneath them and be unable to concentrate on the meld.

At least, that’s the excuse Jim had used when he’d first been learning how to keep certain things hidden. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He breathes deeply, letting the smell of the burn incense fill up his lungs, forcing his muscles to relax in the familiar pattern. They meditated so often Jim could time every step down to the second. 

In exactly fifty three breaths, Spock began to raise his hands, caressing them against Jim’s face for a moment before latching onto his temples. Spock's thumb brushed against his lip in a way Jim knew would be considered disgustingly intimate if another Vulcan had seen them.

It was weird for him to think in terms of the physical when Spock was slipping his way into Jim’s mind, under the mental shields and filling up the space. It was like a fog creeping along the surface of a river, not strong enough to slip beneath the surface but skimming along the surface like an embrace. 

He felt Spock slipping lower, diving past the surface layer of his thoughts, slipping into the river below.

Jim was ready, forcing the current lower, not allowing Spock to see anything but still, calm waters, the shift in colour so gradual that Spock shouldn’t be able to tell that Jim was hiding anything in the black depths, certain he couldn't see the jagged rocks that made up his negative emotions. 

He allows calm radiate through him with every outward breath, letting small sections around spock stir in the river, revealing mostly good emotions but mixing in the bad, artificially implanted to distract from their lack of depth, filtered away from him before he could do more than feel the graze against him. 

Spock would normally let Jim lead, content enough to sink as deep or float as far as Jim allowed, letting his train of thought naturally lead him around. Jim didn’t think he was aware that he kept him tethered to the bond at all times. 

Meditation was anything but relaxing, it was a strain, especially today. He could feel himself slipping at times, the current moving too strong, the rocks raising beneath the inky blackness of the depths, demanding to be shown in the light. He worked hard to make it seem effortless, turning Spock's attentions away, offering him other things before he could become curious and try and attempt to search out the depths he shouldn’t even be aware of. 

He’d made that mistake a few times, early on in their meditation sessions. Spock sensing something Jim was still trying to shield and reaching out for it mentally, only to have Jim rebuke him, unintentionally forcing him out of his mind in such a fashion that they both had to be put to bed rest. 

He allowed their time in his office earlier to rise to the surface, pressing against Spock insistently, like bubbles against his skin, presenting the image of himself leaning forward to kiss Spock. 

He could feel Spock's amusement, the bond going both ways but often with Spock trying to feel nothing as to not cloud Jim’s mind. Something he wasn’t aware that Jim was also doing.

This was usually how their sessions ended, actually, Jim letting Spock get the sense he’d grown bored and impatient, sending him images of their affections in the hopes of distracting him. 

It was working, just as he knew it would, and he wasn’t surprised when he felt a warm, wet mouth begin to kiss up the back of his neck. Leonard, having felt the projections he was amplifying, took them as his cue to join in. 

That was also how these sessions usually ended, spock withdrawing from his mind and returning them to the physical, Leonard waiting impatiently. 

Spock opened his eyes first, mentally sending Jim the image he saw, of Jim sitting in the meditation pose, Vulan robes pooling around him as leonard cosies up to him from behind, finally having learnt how to open the robe and taking full advantage of that fact to pull it down around Jim’s shoudlers, kissing every inch of skin available as Jim’s own face held an expression of relaxed bliss.

He opened his eyes to see the other side of the image, of Spock’s heavy look as he watched his bonded be intimate, their attraction zinging around the bond and exciting him further.

Jim turned his head, meeting Leonards lips with his own as he held out two fingers to spock in a Vulcan kiss. This was the part of their relationship he felt he alway got right, the part he was good at, the part of himself he could offer to them unconditionally. 

  
  
  



	2. The beginnings begun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta worked so hard on this chapter guys. Ray is the most phenomenal person in the entire world!

“When will you get to the colony?” A young Jim Kirk asked, struggling to keep up with his mother's long strides.

“I don’t know.” She replied, eyes straight ahead. The spaceport around them was packed, several shuttles had landed along with theirs, making navigation difficult. Winona kept her head raised high, looking over the crowd. Her frustration deepened the permanent frown that resided on her face.

“Well. How long is your contract with The Epsilon?”Jim wasn’t going to let the fact she wasn’t answering him deter him from his questions. He had a million of them, and surely she would have the answer to a few. He knew she’d taken time off, forced to extend her contract with the starship while getting Jim out of Juvie. More than once he’d heard muffled arguments between his Mom and Frank on that very topic. Frank was still muttering about how she should have let him rot there when they’d been leaving for the shuttle that morning. 

He’d almost turned purple when Jim had stuck his middle finger up at him through the car window. The car was automated but Jim swore it locked the doors on its own and took off way faster than it normally did. 

“I don’t know. Couple more months.” She came to a stop, looking around the terminals. Searching. Distracted. Jim knew the answer already, courtesy of some discrete comm hacking- it gave an ambiguous timeline, depending on when the Molecular Transition Modulator she’d been working on reached the final phase of testing. 

He wasn’t supposed to know that either, but as Sam always said: If Starfleet wanted things to remain secret they should really set up a secondary interference transmitter. And just because the Klingons didn’t know what the codes meant didn’t mean two boys from Iowa were that stupid. 

“When you get there we’ll get a house right?” He said, deciding it was safer to change topics before he inquired about something he definitely shouldn’t know just because his curiosity got the better of him. Winona ignored him as she turned to the left and continued to march, eyes locked on a lone shuttle craft. Jim could only just see the sign over the group of Tellarites that were standing in the middle of the walkway. 

Tarsus IV shuttle 5325  
Kodos’ School For The Gifted

“Because the dormitories are just for other kids that have to board. But if you’re there I won’t have to stay there?” Jim asked again, raising his voice over the intercom that blared through the station, announcing the imminent departure of their shuttle. “You’ll get a house where we can have our own rooms, right?”

“Probably. Oh. I don’t know, Jim.” Winona stopped, whirling around to face her son, hands raised in frustration before she stood up straight and took a calming breath. “I don’t know, Ok? Everything will be explained during orientation, and I’m sure whenever I get there they’ll give us a house big enough for the two of us.”

“Ok.” That made sense. He didn’t even try to stop the smile that flitted across his face at her sideways confession that they’d live together again. “Will you visit me?”

“Sure.” She answered quickly. His heart swelled in his chest at the answer. she turned back around, continuing to march towards the shuttle, the bag she was carrying slammed into the side of a man- she paid him no attention as he yelled after them, Jim almost running to keep up.

“And Frank won’t be with you?”

“Sure.” She answered again, he felt like his lips were gonna crack with how big his smile was.

“Good. I hate him.” 

“Jimmy. Enough.” His mom said in the tone of a woman who had heard that particular exclamation way too many times. She picked up her pace as they approached the older woman standing outside the shuttle, greeting her like they were friends.

“Sorry we’re late.” Winona apologised when the woman said they were the last to arrive. 

“This must be Jimmy.” The older woman smiled down at him. “My name’s Hoshi Sato. You may call me Hoshi.”

“Hello.”Said Jim, half hidden behind his mother. Winona reached behind him and put her hand between his shoulder blades, pushing him forward and away.

“Here.” She handed him the bag she’d been carrying for him. “Go find your seat.”

Jim paused before placing the bag down, turning back to face his mother and throwing his arms around her waist, locking his hands on his elbows and squeezing tightly. Her arms flew up like she was about to jump backwards, presumably startled by Jim’s sudden movement. At least that’s what he told himself.

She didn’t move for a moment, it always took her a second.

She slowly reached down, running a hand through his hair before wrapping her arms around him and holding him just as tight. Pulling away, she rubbed a soothing hand along his back before trying to let go.

He didn’t remove his arms, not ready for the affection to stop. 

“Jimmy, c’mon,” She shoved at his arms, softly at first, before reaching back and wrapping a tight hand around one of his wrists, forcing him to let go, pushing him none too gently back and out of her personal space. 

“You’re gonna call as well, right?” Jim wanted the confirmation, sure she would, but he needed to hear her say it. 

“Sure.” He smiled.

“And message!” He yelled, feeling bad as she winced at the volume. She didn’t like it when he yelled.

“Sure. Get on the shuttle, Jimmy.” She pointed at the entry ramp, they were the last ones waiting. Hoshi watched them from inside the shuttle, a sharp look in her eyes. He instantly felt bad, sure he’d already managed to upset her as well. He was good at that.

He swung his bag onto his back as he walked the few paces to the ship, grabbing onto the railing to help him up the stairs before he found the courage to ask the question that’d been on his mind since he’d found out he was leaving Riverside. “Sam will be there too, right. You’ll let me know when you find him?”

Winona closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she replied for the last time. “Sure.”

That was good enough for him, he stumbled the last few steps up into the transport and tried not to jump as the doors slammed shut the second he passed the sensors. 

He threw his bag to the side with the others, not waiting for anyone to tell him where to sit. Instead rushing to the nearest empty window seat, pressing his face to the glass to find the place where his mother had last been, wanting to get one more wave goodbye before he left.

She was already gone, the crowd had swallowed her up so completely he couldn’t even see her blonde hair. He swallowed frantically against the lump forming in his throat. She must have been in a rush, they’d been running around all morning. He knew that she had important work to do, now that he was safe and looked after, of course she was going to go back to doing her ‘Very Important Work’.

And the quicker she got to work, the quicker she’d find Sam. 

“Jimmy,” came Hoshi’s voice to his left. He turned to face her, seeing how she’d leaned down to his eye level. “Does your mother always act like that?”

Warning bells went off in Jim’s mind, speech already on the tip of his tongue. It was the same one he’d rehearsed and recited to multiple people over the years, perfected with time and the seemingly endless stream of teachers, and social workers, who didn’t know when to mind their own business. “No. We’ve just had a busy day and she’s got a thousand other things to worry about. She ju-“

Hoshi placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him before he could go any further.She gave him a look he couldn’t place. “Alright. I Just wanted to check. Do you need anything before take off.”

He shook his head, thrown off his game at being interrupted. 

“Put on your seatbelt we’ll be flying soon to meet with the freighter.”

Jim’s jaw clenched, teeth grinding as she walked away. He didn’t know exactly where in that talk he’d gone wrong, she’d interrupted him before he could even really say anything, explain that his mom wasn’t actually pushing him away. Or even that she wasn’t actually mad, that's just how she talked. 

He knows how it comes off to others, with how distracted his mom is, but that’s just who she is. She doesn’t have time to baby him, or answer his millions of questions. Jim knew he’d caused her a lot of trouble by having to leave her posting early to come bail him out. He was lucky she hadn’t left him there. She’d even managed to get him enrolled in the colony she’d be stationed on next, having to delay her start date there, too. 

He slumped back in his seat, frantically wiping his eyes on the ends of his sleeves before anyone could see what a baby he was being. 

“Are you crying?” Jim’s head snapped up to see a boy leaning over the back of the seat in front of him. 

‘No!” Jim yelled, kicking at the seat and making the boy almost lose his grip.

“You are too!” He taunted, swinging forward so he was further in Jim’s personal space. “Are you going to ruin the trip with your crying, cry baby?”

“I’m not a cry baby!” Jim yelped at him, his voice echoing around the small shuttle. 

“Tell that to your cry baby face.” He reached forward and poked at Jim’s face. Jim lashed out, slapping his hand away and pushing him back onto his own chair. 

“Go away.” He hissed, standing up on his seat and towering over the boy. He wasn’t going to let some dweeb start picking on him. 

The boy looked at him, blinking owlishly before thrusting his hand out. “I’m Tommy.”

Jim hesitated before grabbing Tommy’s hand and shaking it three times just like Sam had taught him- Just like the grown ups do in Starfleet.

Jimmy was a baby name, he’d been called that his whole life. But Tarsus was a new start. He could be anyone. 

“My name’s JT.” 

“That’s a stupid name.”

“You’re a stupid name.” came his genius reply.

“No one has initials as their name. You’re lying.”

“I bet your file doesn’t say Tommy.” That gave the kid pause, mulling over the retort before shrugging his shoulders and slumping back down in his seat. Apparently done talking to him.

Weirdo.

Jim looked around the shuttle, there were easily a dozen other kids on board. This transport was specifically for those boarding at the school.

The first group that caught his eye consisted of two kids barely old enough to be heading to the school, let alone boarding at it, and a much older teen. He thinks the young boy might be related to her though, the resemblance between them too uncanny to be anything but a blood relation. He hoped the little girl was as well, too young to be travelling on her own, the bear she carried only emphasising the fact, well-loved, with worn down fur and frayed lace around its neck.

The little girl was wrapping and unwrapping the lace around her fingers in tight spirals, the frayed edges sometimes getting caught and making her little finger turn different colours with the lack of passing blood. Jim forced himself to look away, unable to stop the thought of what would happen if the girl tightened the lace too much, got it caught at just the wrong moment and managed to slice her finger down to the bone. It made him queasy.

As he continued to look around his eyes locked with another girl, this one much older, her pretty auburn hair seeming to glow in the light of the shuttle. She was definitely older than him, but he didn’t think it could be by too much. He swallowed around the dry feeling in his mouth as he got lost in her brown eyes. Thinking fast,Jim did the move he’d seen Sam do on several girls at his high school, it always made them giggle as they passed him.

He raised his head, jutting his chin forward and raising both eyebrows in a small pumping motion, letting one side of his mouth slip up into a smile. The girl smiled at him, seeming more amused than the girls had looked when Sam did it. She also didn’t giggle. He waved his hand instead, mouth turning into a full grin when she waved back. 

This made the teen next to her look up from his comm, Jim hadn’t noticed that he had an arm around the girl’s shoulder, pulling her closer as he glared at Jim. The dark hair that fell on his face only contributed to the menacing nature of the look. 

He gave him the same greeting he gave the girl, pumping his eyebrows twice this time. It only made him glare harder, but it made the girl giggle.

He counted that as a win. 

A reminder for them to fasten their seatbelts rung out through the small cabin, Jim took the opportunity to get out of his seat, slipping into the aisle and moving forward one row to slam himself down in the seat next to Tommy. If anyone was going to be able to make this flight interesting it’d be him, Jim had decided.

“So, what are you being shipped off for.” He asked, Tommy gave him a weird look, but smiled. Another win. And the start of a beautiful friendship.

*

“If you don’t like heights you’re gonna hate living on the mountain side.” Jim teased. Said mountain didn’t look like it rose that much of the ground, not compared to the one they had to fly around before, all the shuttles that had left the freighter flying in unorganised paths down to the surface. They’d made sharp turns several times in the air, a fact Jim found exhilarating but Tommy . . . did not. 

“Shut up.” He grumbled, head between his legs.

“Seriously, they must think we can cling to the mountain side like those goats in the history books.” Jim continued to lie, it had become a fun game for him. Seeing how far he could go with something until Tommy caught on. 

Tommy had yet to catch on that they were playing, but he’s sure he’d find it just as funny. 

“Those are made up.” Tommy denied. “There’s no way they could actually do that.”

“They can.” He thinks. “If you trip on these streets you’ll roll right down to the bottom.” 

From what he could see the streets were actually flat, maybe rising here and there but ultimately not at angles. it was beautiful in it’s own way, the layout reminded Jim of a kidney, a whole bunch of buildings clustered at the base middle of the mountain, with sprawling houses reaching out around it and up the rest of the mountain. 

Or maybe it was a tall hill. He’d look up the classifications later. 

“Looks like any other suburb, just tons of houses leading to the bigger buildings in the middle. Kinda looks like, like a crescent moon I gue-“ Jim was cut off by Tommy retching into the bucket at his feet.

He continued once Tommy stopped. “Though I guess they just built outwards from the main square.” He explained. “There's a fence around the bottom part though. I think.”

They were still high up, coming in closer with every moment that passed. The colony looked like someone had copy and pasted parts of different towns and stuck them on a map together. Not very well, either. The suburban houses that spiralled around the lower half of the colony all looked the same from up in the sky, the streets even having a similar design on either side of what Jim was assuming was the main part of town. 

The centre itself looked like someone had cut out a picture from a Victoria child’s book and slapped it in the middle of the mountain. He could see now that even the roads had changed from smooth black tar in the suburbs, to what must be cobblestones. 

“It’s like they’ve modeled the town after those cheesy Victorian era Christmas holos.” 

“A what?”

“Never mind.” He didn’t want to explain. Tommy would see soon enough, and if he didn’t get it well then maybe Jim could find a copy for them to watch. 

Above the town, rising up higher into the mountain, that’s when things began to get fancy. The houses stopped looking like exact replicas and sprawled lazily out along the mountain side. 

Jim hoped his mom got one of those fancy looking houses, she was Starfleet, she deserved fancy. Maybe there’d even be a spare room for his new best friend, provided Sam didn’t claim it first. His brother would obviously have first choice when he got there. 

Jim momentarily lost himself in the daydream of being able to show his family around when they arrived, impressing them with his knowledge of the area and where to get the best baked goods. There was so much damn grain everywhere there was no way they weren’t turning a bunch of it into bread. 

. . . The grain really was absolutely everywhere. 

”Who’s farming all the grain? it’s overrun.” Jim said, more aloud to himself then actually asking Tommy. The grain didn’t seem to follow any farming pattern he knew of from Iowa, he wasn’t sure it even was being properly farmed, there didn’t seem to be any reason to it’s lay out. 

It stretched across the entire plain in front of the colony, rising steadily with a few of the gentle hills around and all the way up to the river line. It even seemed to stretch towards the mountain they’d flown around when they had begun their descent. There was a single dirt roadway that led out from the entrance of the colony, winding down to an extremely out of place building in the middle of the field.

That had to be the Tarsus Science Institute. It was both bigger and smaller than Jim had been imagining. His mom’s information packet had made it sound like they had dozens of labs, as well as high end technology for her to play with.

Maybe it was all underground. He doesn’t think that building could hold even one decently sized research lab. Not like the ones his mom had taken him on tours of when she’d had to make trips to San Francisco. 

He looked back at the colony, now close enough to see more details. 

“There’s a fence around the entire colony.” He continued to talk out loud, this time directed at Tommy, having snapped out of his spiraling thoughts. “But that’s stupid why would they need that? If they want to stop the grain from going any further they need t-“

He was cut off by the sound of Tommy vomiting, the Shuttle having dropped down a few feet due to turbulence. The vomit splattered against the side of the bowl, frothing with the bile Tommy had already spat out into it. 

“Gross!” He yelled out, Tommy stuck his finger up at Jim as he continued to heave, head still between his legs, vomit thankfully landing in the bucket Hoshi had found for himwhen he first started feeling sick. 

“You good?” He asked. “You didn’t do this on the way to the freighter.”

“There’s a difference between,” He gestured with his hand, “Space and a-atmospheric reentry.”

“Atmospheric reentry.” Jim mocked. “Just say shuttle landing.”

“Excuse me for using the technical term.” Tommy mocked back. “Hey JT.”

“What?”

“What the hell is a crusty moon?”

“What?” Jim frowned at him.

“Crusty moon, you said the colony looked like a crusty moon.” Tommy explained, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve. 

Jim paused, working out what Tommy was saying. “Crescent moon.”

“Oh.” Jim laughed at his friend, looking back out the window as they started to make their final descent, the colony seeming so much bigger now that he was closer to the ground.

“The grain’s just been left to overgrow, kinda looks like mould.” He said after a few moments. Tommy gagged again.

Jim fought the smile that wanted to make his face split open. “Like the kind that grows on cheese. Just spreads all over.”

“Shut up.” Tommy groaned. 

“Do you think it smells bad too, like rotten cheese. Like that blue cheese.” He leaned in close to whisper it to Tommy, not wanting the adults to overhear, but also regretting his choice as the smell of the vomit reached his nostrils. 

“I’ll throw the bucket at you, JT.” Tommy hissed back, shuttle shaking as it finally touched down. 

Jim stood up on his seat, artfully stepping over Tommy and jumping down into the aisle, dodging the hand Tommy tried to grab him with. Poking his tongue out at his friend, he slipped out the door that hand only just finished opening.

He was the first off the shuttle, emerging onto ground for the first time in almost a week. It felt solid under Jim’s feet, unmoving, nothing like the gently vibrating metal plating he’d gotten used to. He adjusted quickly, moving away from the shuttle and scuffing his shoes in the dirt. It looked just like the dirt back in Iowa, he could almost pretend he was still there instead of what felt like a million parsecs away. His gut clenched, not for the first time, as a wave of homesickness overtook him. He needed a distraction before he did something stupid again- like start crying. 

He looked back at the shuttle to see Tommy wobbling around on unsteady legs, walking like his knees couldn’t hold him up - leaving him open to attack.

Jim tackled his friend to the ground and rubbing the dirt from the ground on his face. “Not used to being on the dirt anymore, Tommy? Maybe you should eat it. Say hello!”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Tommy yelled out, frantically throwing his head from side to side, trying to stop Jim from shoving the dirt in his mouth.

“Boys, enough.” Hoshi approached, tapping Jim on the shoulder repeatedly to get him to hop off Tommy. She’d been dealing with their antics the whole ride, soothing the freighter’s crew when they had been particularly rowdy. But she never yelled. 

Maybe that was just because she was super old though. Jim learnt yesterday that she was a hundred and seventeen. It made him nervous that if he moved too quickly around her, she’d fall apart and crumble to dust. 

He was quick to do as she said, apologising to her, which Tommy repeated in a mocking tone. Jim kicked dirt at him.

Tommy jumped up, clearly ready to continue their battle, but a snarling noise stopped him in his tracks. Looking to their left the boys saw three dogs on leashes being pulled along by a frazzled looking man. One of the dogs was looking at them, it’s dark eyes trained on Jim, he fought back the urge to kick dirt at it, too.

“You two need to behave,” Hoshi chided, moving to place herself between them and the dog, breaking Jim’s eye contact with it. That didn’t stop him hearing it’s continued growls, or prevent the image of its raised hackles and bared teeth from imprinting in his mind. 

The rest of the group had exited their shuttle, mingling with the crowd that had begun to form as they made their way to the main gates of the colony. From here Jim could see that he’d been right, the front of the colony was separated from the grain with a chain link fence, just tall enough that he’d struggle to climb it, the top laced with barbed wire. Jim’s not sure if it was to keep something out or keep them in, either way it seemed like overkill. Especially since he could see at least one building that pressed out from the fence, a pile of boxes strewn messily around it, mingling with the grain. He hoped whatever was in those boxes wasn’t going to contaminate the crop.

He turned to see that Hoshi had taken the lead for their small group. He wanted to ask her about what he’d seen, sure she’d have an answer, she’d been answering all his questions on the freighter, some even before he could think to ask them. It had been invigorating. 

A foot darted in front of him, almost tripping him over if he hadn’t caught himself on Tommy. The owner of the foot sniggered at him as he continued to walk, running a hand through his stupid hair just like he had been the whole journey over, Jim was tempted to cut it for him, he and Tommy had even begun to make plans.

Ethan had made it his goal to torment Jim on the freighter, apparently he was continuing the mission down on the surface. The joke was on him though because Jim knew it upset Abigail when he did.He could hear her telling Ethan off, and his heart turned to goo in his chest. She was so nice, he didn’t know why she stuck around with such a jerk. 

“Hear that.” Jim gestured to the retreating couple in front of them. “I’m a sweet boy.”

“Give her time, she’ll change her mind.” Tommy replied. Shoving Jim off of him. 

They followed the crowd, other colonists arriving at the same time mingled with those who'd been here longer, Jim had overheard some of the adults on the freighter say they were introducing a thousand new colonists today, that included all the gifted children like him brought in to attend Kodos’ institute for accelerated learning.

The gifted children part didn’t fool Jim though, he knew it was just the school all the colony children attended. Kodos had just added a dormitory for kids with parents off planet. It was a credit grab, a fact his mom hadn’t been happy when he pointed out to her. 

They were led to what Jim assumed to be the main square, men in uniforms herding them along like sheep to fill up the space, Hoshi and the other instructors doing their best to keep them all together, directing them to the centre where a giant statue stood, copper metal gleaming harshly in the sun.

“Hey Tommy,” He whispered as a man in an ostentatious looking robe stepped onto the raised platform at the far edge of the square and began droning introductions to the crowd. He might be Kodos, Jim wasn’t too sure. “See those dogs?”

“The ones on the statue?” 

“Yeah, obviously.” 

“What about them?”

“They’re Kodos’s dogs.”

“No shit, JT.” He exclaimed, earning several glares from the adults around them. Jim could see one of their teachers, Mr Roberts, making his way towards them. He kicked Tommy in the shin and hissed at him to keep his voice down.

Tommy looked like he was thinking about kicking him back. Jim continued talking before his friend could give in to the impulse. “Yeah but they’re not just copies of his current dogs. There’s only two there instead of three.”

Tommy gave him a look.

“When the dogs get too old, he has them put down.” He leaned in closer to continue, Tommy copied his action.

“Yeah that’s what you do, JT.” Tommy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah but he doesn’t do it the normal way. I heard Kodos goes even further.” He paused for dramatic effect. “When his dogs can’t hunt little kids anymore, he has them dipped in copper. Alive. Then they’re added to the statue.” 

“Bullshit.” Tommy hissed, comically wide eyes darting to the statue before going back to Jim. 

“True shit!” He hissed back in the same excited tone. “When you see them from the front you can see the scream on the dogs face.”

“Dogs don’t scream. You’re a liar.” But Tommy was frowning at him, looking back and forth like he was going to be sick, still pale from the shuttle ride. “He wouldn’t do that.”

“That’s why the dog was growling at us before.” Jim continued to lie. “He’s the oldest, he knows he’s on the way out, so he’s proving to his master that he still likes to make chew toys out of the new kids.”

He poked Tommy in the side, aiming for his ribs. “Especially those who have no parents to look out for them.”

“Then you’re on the menu, too, genius.” Tommy said as the air rushed out of his lungs, grabbed at his side and hunching over further. 

Their whispering was getting too much attention, disapproving adults turning to glare at them again. But Jim was having too much fun to stop now.

“Yeah, but my mom will be here in a few months.” He hoped. 

Tommy hesitated for a moment. “Yeah, well, the dog liked you more.”

“Did not!”

“Did so!” 

“Boys.” Mr Roberts had finally reached them. “What’s going on?” He knelt down to their eye level.

“JT said that when the dogs get too old to hunt kids that Kodos dips them in copper and sticks them on the statue.” Tommy ratted him out in a single breath, not even trying to remain quiet. 

“Snitch.” Jim hissed out, glaring at Tommy.

Mr Roberts paused, looking back and forth between them. Jim was careful to keep his face blank when the man looked at him, unsure what kind of reaction the adult would have. Time seemed to slow down as Jim waited. 

“Huh.” Mr Roberts said, like he’d just figured out the final piece to a puzzle.”That explains the shipment of copper I saw in the freighter hold.”

Tommy took a step back from the statue horrified; Mr Roberts looked at Jim and winked. Jim was startled for a moment, before winking back at his co-conspirator. He watched for a few more moments as the man stood back up and looked at the man, who was still droning on.

He must be the Governor. He was acting too important to be anything else.

Jim tried to be good and pay attention, but the man was going on about the wry important Xenobiology work the scientists were doing- the main reason for this colony's existence. He’d heard everything about it before. His mom was going to be the main researcher when her contract with The Epsilon ended, he’d read all the documents she had when she wasn’t looking. He probably knew more than the stupid governor did. 

He looked down at his shoes, scuffing them against the tiles that made up the main square. He let his mind wander, calculating the time difference and cycle his mom was in compared to him, and when they’d be able to talk over subspace radio. It’d only been a few days but he had so much to tell her. Especially about his new best friend Tommy. 

He didn’t notice the guard wandering through the crowd, didn’t see Mr Roberts step out of his way and be pushed further back as the man came up behind Jim.

A hand smacking the back of his head startled him, his own hands flying up to protect the back of his head as he ducked down knees tucked up to his chest. After a few seconds he looked back to see who had hit him, his head beating in time with the throbbing of his head.

‘Pay attention.” The guard glared down at him. Jim glared back, not daring to get up until the man finally broke eye contact and walked away. 

Jim sniffed, blinking away the traitorous tears that stung at his eyes. He stood up straight, looking to the front of the square. He didn’t dare look at any of the adults that surrounded him, didn’t want to see the smug look on their stupid faces, not doubting for a second that they thought he’d deserved it. Especially the ones who had been glaring at him earlier. 

He made a silent resolve to not get in anymore trouble that day, or ever, he didn’t want to be sent back to Juvie, his mom made it clear this was his last chance. 

“Cry baby.” Tommy whispered at him, already breaking Jim’s resolve. 

Jim leaned into Tommy’s personal space, ignoring how his friend tensed up, pointing at the Kodos statue in front of them. “Kodos also used to have a twin.”

He laughed as Tommy tackled him to the ground, screaming at him to shut up. Ok, not going to be in any more trouble, starting right after this.

Jim leaned against the cool wall, fighting the urge to tap his fingers against it as muffled voices inside the room continued to argue. He began to tap his feet instead, banging out a nonsensical repeating pattern, looking up at the ceiling and trying to find shapes in the discolouration.

“-feral brats that-“ Came out through the wood as Mrs Vardebedian passed by the door, continuing to pace around Hoshi’s office. 

She sounded mad. Jim didn’t let himself smile even though he wanted to, just in case another teacher came around the corner and caught him. He was in enough trouble as it was. 

He closed his eyes, visualising the next message he was going to send to his mom.

Mom,

Classes are easy. You‘ll be happy to know though that I’m listening to what the judge said, and I’m at the top of all my classes. Hoshi has even talked about giving me extra assignments, do you think if I ask nicely enough she’ll teach me Klingon? 

I’ve made friends too. Tommy, I already told you all about him, but he’s also my roommate, and in most of my classes, he’s really smart, but even though he has an actual scholarship to be here, I’m still smarter. 

There’s also Rini, Riley, and Susie. I think you’d like Rini, she’s Riley's cousin. They were on the shuttle with us and they live just down the hall. Well Riley bunks with Susie, the girl with the bear. Rini is super cool, she was Scout leader nine out of ten years she was part of it. She taught us how to weave this giant red rope from old bed sheets that—

Maybe he shouldn’t mention the rope, especially since it was big enough to reach the ground from his second story window. His mom didn’t need to know that. He mentally crossed out the last few sentence and began to rewrite it in his head 

Riley and Susie follow us around like those ducklings used to at Hall Park. That’s probably why Rini hangs out with us. She’s really cool, mom. She was a scout leader in her troop for nine years, says she wants to become a troop leader when she gets back. She only came here because of Riley, her cousin. Susie’s got no other family here, but she has us so it’s ok. 

“-personal property that-“ He heard through the door again. More irritated than gleeful at his train of thought being interrupted. He mentally skipped past the part he was stuck on, he’d figure out how to word it later. 

There’s also Teesoan, Jordan and Jared. Teesoan lives across the hall from me and Tommy, but Jordan and Jared live in the upper district. They’ve been here for years with their parents, who are doctors for the colony. 

His mom was sure to love that, he was already networking for her. He hadn't actually met the twins parents yet but he’s sure he can charm them, maybe he and his mom would even be able to get a house near them in the uppers. Sure would be nicer than having to live in the lower districts. 

He reviewed the content of his message, deciding he was talking about himself too much. If he wanted her to reply, it would be easier for her if he asked questions, give her something to actually reply to.

How is your experiment going? I hope it’s going well, they’re getting ready to harvest the tarsus grain down here. 

Well they call it grain but really the only thing they’ve been growing is wheat, do you know why that is? 

They say this is going to be the biggest harvest to date, since they figured out how to get the wheat to spread and implant itself without them having to monitor it- that’s why they had to build a fence around the colony, and why it looks like it’s growing like a fungus. It’s right in your area of study, mom!

He hoped she’d be impressed with his knowledge, it had been hard to sort out fact from fiction, no one really knowing the whole story, well, nobody except the scientist they weren’t allowed to talk to. 

The whole process is a lot different from the farms in Iowa, as I’m sure you know. I’m excited to see what they mean by having drones harvest the individual grains instead of using harvesters, they say it’s because too much use of a harvester would damage the delicate soil, but it’s all rocks out there mom, it’s not like it's a marshland or anything. 

The door slamming open startled him, making him turn quickly to see Mrs Vardebedian march out the office door, the petroleum jelly Jim had covered her in still clinging to her hair and clothes. She was glaring at him, but her lips were turned up in a smug smile. He stuck his tongue out at her, causing her to flush almost as red as her dress before she stormed off.

“Jimmy, can you come in here please?” Hoshi called out. He swallowed around the lump rising in his throat. 

He walked cautiously into her office, Hoshi was standing on the side of her desk closest to him, arms held gently in front of her and an open expression on her face, looking like she was waiting for Jim to speak first.

He would rather have Mrs Vardebedian screaming in his face again. He didn’t care what she thought of him. Hoshi always wanted to talk things out, especially when Jim ‘looked like he was having a hard time’.

“You rigged a trap that soaked Mrs Vardebedian and her storage shed in petroleum Jelly.” She stated when he didn’t say anything.

“Yup.” There was no point denying it, it was the truth after all.

“Who helped you?” She asked. 

“No one.” 

“So it was all your idea.” Hoshi confirmed.

“Yup.” Jim said again.

“You’re the one that lugged all six buckets from our science classroom.”

“Yup.” Jim said again. 

“You’re the one that set up those buckets. On the eight foot high ceiling.” She again stated as fact. 

“Yup.” Jim said again. They’re lucky Tommy was strong, or Jim wouldn’t have been able to sit on his shoulders while setting up the traps. 

“You’re the one that set the rope trigger.”

“Yup.” That actually had been him. 

Hoshi sighed. “Why are you lying to me, Jimmy.” 

“I’m no-“ Jim started to lie. 

Hoshi put her hands on her face dragging her wrinkles back, eyes shut in frustration. 

The fact that Jim could annoy her was an endless source of amusement for him, this was the same lady that dealt with both Admiral Archer and the Vulcan T’pol. He’d heard tales of their adventures. Some from Hoshi herself that weren’t even in the official Starfleet records! 

Of course, he preferred her annoyance when it wasn’t also tinged with disappointment. 

“Ok. Why?” She asked.

“Why what?”

“Why did you do it?” She gave him the look that meant she wanted him to explain, in detail, his reasoning. 

He wasn’t in the mood. Jim shrugged. “Why not.”

“That’s not a good enough answer, Jimmy.” She sighed. “Mrs Vardebedian found it extremely upsetting that-”

“She’s always upset.” He interrupted.

“She has a right to be. You’ve caused a lot of damage.”

“It’s just petroleum on a bunch of dusty old boxes, the stuff inside is fine.”

“It’s still a huge mess she has to clean.” Hoshi explained. 

“Well. You reap what you sow.”

“Mrs Vardebian has arthritis in her hands. Her storage shed is the way it is because she physically can’t keep it clean. Her mobility is limited-”

Jim interrupted her again, the words exploding out of him, “She’s got enough mobility to hit us with brooms. Maybe she should be taking her anger out on the cobwebs instead.”

Hoshi paused. “When did she hit you with a broom.” 

“The other day.” He said, not looking at her anymore. He’d already said too much.

Hoshi moved around the room, pulling her chair out from behind her desk and manoeuvring it next to the visitors seat. She sat down, gesturing for Jim to join her. 

“So you covered her things in petroleum jelly, because she hit you with a broom.” Jim hesitated, not knowing if he wanted to tell her the full story. 

“What happened before that?” Hoshi continued to probe. He knew that he could remain silent, he could even leave if he wanted to- it’s not like Hoshi could physically stop him.

“She says you’ve been sneaking around, that she’s caught you in the storage shed several times over the past three weeks.” Hoshi continued to repeat what Mrs Vardebedian had been screaming at her. “Why were you in the storage shed, Jimmy?”

“It wasn’t about her storage shed.” He admitted. “It’s just convenient.”

“Convenient for what.”

He remained silent, refusing to look in Hoshi’s eyes.

“Mrs Vardebedian works very hard.” Hoshi started to say. “She doesn’t need kids traipsing around in her storage shed, just because they want to play.” 

He felt indignant anger rise up in him, he wasn’t a little kid and he didn’t play. “We don’t ‘traip’ around in her storage shed’ she just has the quickest access to the fields.” Damn, he’d given it away. Hoshi raised her eyebrows at him. 

“You shouldn't be playing in the fields.”

“Yeah, I know that too.” Jim huffed, crossing his arms, his burst of anger leaving him with his exhale. 

“We don’t say it to be mean, Jimmy.” She continued to try and soothe him. “The grain is the property of the Science Institute until it’s put in Pit Storage for our use.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Jim argued, the thoughts he’d been having on the subject coming to the surface. “If we’re actually supposed to eat that grain then the colony needs a lot more farmers and a lot less scientists. It’s overrun, no one’s doing any actual farming. We're just relying on the grain and the replicator chips, and the supplies the freighter brings in, which we have to buy anyway.” It was a point of contention between the boarding kids and the other colony children whose parents had easy access to all sorts of nice things that the boarders would be lucky to even get a sniff of. 

“You know farming here isn’t done in the traditional manner, because of the soil.” She explained calmly, “It’s harvested by drones, and the scientists know what they’re doing.”

“What is the goal with all those scientists anyway, to live only on the grain? Because that’s not possible. No matter how much they modify it.” He ignored her reasoning. “Even with their fancy, bacteria resistant modifications and, and their . . .”

He stumbled to find the words. “Stupid, fancy crop that can grow and multiply like a fungus, or whatever.” He huffed, leaning back in his seat.

Hoshi waited until he ran out of steam, not letting him distract her with his tangent. “A lot of what the Science Institute does is kept under high security clearance because it’s groundbreaking work, the whole colony relies on income from that research. This whole place is possible because of those scientists, and we need to have faith that at the heart of it all, they know what they’re doing. There is a strong scientific research going on and they know what is best.” 

He refused to reply, shifting down lower in his chair and folding his arms. 

Hoshi sighed at him before going back to the original topic. “So, because she didn’t want you walking through her storage shed, you decided to make a mess of it.”

“What does it matter anyway, she has so much stuff, and she can’t even get to most of the boxes in the storage shed, she probably doesn't even know what’s in them.” Jim knew his voice had become whiny at this point, he mentally kicked himself. “She doesn’t even take good care of the stuff she’s selling. She thinks one little ribbon should be like a dozen credits, just because it’s ‘authentic’ and ‘not any of the replicator junk’” He made several air quotes as he talked. 

“Tell me more about the ribbon.”

Jim stopped, knowing he had been caught. 

Silence filled the room, Hoshi and Jim staring each other down, waiting for the other to blink first. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jim finally said, going for denial.

“I think you do.” Hoshi replied evenly. If she ever decided to be a professional card player, Jim had no doubt she’d be able to triumph on bluffing alone. 

“Mrs Vardebedian also mentioned how she was sure you and your friends were robbing her.”

Jim was painfully aware of the ribbon he had resting in his pocket, sure that the lines of it were obvious against his pants. He didn’t let himself fidget around like he wanted to, sure Hoshi would realise he was hiding something. 

“Did you try to steal a ribbon from her?” Hoshi continued to probe when Jim refused to respond.

“We didn’t try to steal anything.” Technically not a lie. “If anything she’s the thief here, charging way too much for a stupid ribbon.”

Hoshi hesitated before continuing. “All resources we have here are precious.”

Jim rolled his eyes, standing to storm out. Kodos repeated this lecture to them every morning over the colony wide comm system, he didn’t want to hear it from her, too. 

Hoshi raised her hand, pressing it lightly on his shoulder. He’d have to push past her if he was serious about leaving. “She has so many ribbons. We just wanted one.” He said instead.

“Yes. And they’re all precious to her.” Hoshi continued. “They’re items she’s collected, using a replicator to replace them wouldn’t copy the memories that come with the original.”

“You can’t tell the difference between replicated and original.” Jim said, not ready to back down. 

“That’s not important. The fact is she doesn’t have to share what she has.” Hoshi continued. “And if she chooses to share, she’s allowed to assign it whatever value she wants. You don’t have to pay for it, but you have to respect it.”

Exasperated, Jim cut her off. “Kodos likes to preach to us every morning about equal distribution of resources; how dare we actually try and follow his words.”

“That’s a false equivalence, Jimmy.” 

“Susie doesn’t have any family here.” He continued on his rant, having gathered too much steam to stop now. “She can’t get anything other than whatever the great Kodos decides to supply her with. Mrs V has more ribbons than she could ever sell! She didn’t have to be so mean and horrible and make Susie cry.”

Hoshi paused again, moving her hand back down to her side. 

“So why not just pay for it, pool your resources if you want Susie to have a new ribbon.”

“We don’t have credits.” Jim hissed out. “And the old bat didn’t like anything we tried to barter for it.”

“You tried to barter for it?” She sounded surprised. 

“Well, yeah.” Jim said as if it was obvious. “We didn’t have the credits between us for it so we tried to give her things of equal value, her shops full of old junk anyway.”

“And what did she say?”

“She wouldn’t go for it.” Jim threw his arms up in exasperation. Part of him was relieved that he’d told Hoshi everything, maybe his punishment wouldn’t be as bad. “Rini even tried to offer her this gold bracelet she had. All she wanted in return was a stupid ribbon but Mrs Vardebedian told her it was obviously fake if she was going to give it away.

“When Rini insisted it was real Mrs V got mad, started yelling about how we must be thieves then if we had something so nice, and abandoned brats like us shouldn’t have nice things. The stupid old cow.”

“I think I understand now.” Hoshi interrupted Jim, a hand coming to rest on his wrist. “So you tried to barter for a ribbon, after she told you how many credits it was. She didn’t like that and told you all to leave. She later caught you in her storage shed. Even though you weren’t intending to steal anything, just using it as a passage,  
she assumed the worst and hit you with a broom. You, acting completely on your own, decide to make a huge mess in the storage room.”

“Yeah.” Jim agreed. “That sums it up.” 

“Did she really call you all abandoned brats?”

“Yeah.” He said past the lump rising in his throat. “Made Susie cry and everything.” 

Hoshis leaned back, looking every one of her one hundred and seventeen years. “Ok. Here’s what’s going to happen.”

Jim sat up straight, the authority in Hoshi’s voice was palpable despite her exhausted appearance. He sometimes forgot she used to be a member of Starfleet, but her commanding tone could make him shape up quickly. 

“Mrs Vardebedian wanted you sent to holding for two weeks.” Jim immediately opened his mouth to protest. The basement of the colony’s government building had been converted into cells to house settlers who broke the rules. juvie seemed friendly in comparison. 

Jim was sure that if he was sent there, he’d officially have blown his last chance- be shipped back to Iowa on the next freighter and lose any chance of living with his mom again. 

“I talked her down to grounding you at the school instead.” Jim slumped in his seat, relief and regret intermingling in his body. 

“You’ll do two weeks and then we’ll act like it never happened.” Hoshi continued. “There won’t be any official note in your file either.”

Jim knew that what Hoshi was doing for him was against the rules the judge had laid out for him. Any infraction was to be reported. Hoshi was officially his favourite teacher ever.

“Maybe next time ask your mother for the credits,” Hoshi offered. Jim’s good mood vanished as fast as it had appeared. “I’m sure she’d send you some.”

“I don’t think my mom would like me messaging her asking for money.” He scoffed. “Besides it’s not like she’s replied to anything else I’ve sent her.”

A heavy silence took over the office, making Jim feel like he was choking on the implications of his confession. Embarrassment flooded through him, sweat preparing to leak from his pores. 

“I have a present for you.” Hoshi said, changing the subject completely and leading him back to her desk, pulling out an actual, physical book. “An early Christmas present.” She said. 

He hesitated, scared to touch it. “I’m Jewish.”

“You can think of it as a super early birthday present then.” Jim bit his tongue hard enough he could taste blood. He still didn’t reach out.

Hoshi stepped towards him, holding out her other hand for him. Slowly he raised it to her, letting her grab the back of his hand as she turned it around, gently putting the book in his grip. 

He held the book awkwardly as she pulled her hands away, waiting for her to take it back.

When she didn’t . . . He slowly raised his other hand, turning the book over before pulling it closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself like he was trying to hide it. 

“Thank you.” He was overwhelmed, still feeling like he should run but not wanting to be rude. Instead, he reached forward, easily slipping into her arms as she embraced him. Her cloying perfume filled Jim’s nose, making his eyes water. 

At least that was his excuse. 

“Would you like me to see if I can get Susie a ribbon?” Hoshis asked, pulling back far enough to look into Jim’s eyes.

“No, I’ll sort it.” Jim said, feeling like the item in his pocket was suddenly made out of dilithium, heavy and obvious. Hoshi stared him down, exhaling loudly out of her nose.

“Ok.” She said, letting the topic go. “Do you want to try and call your mom?” Hoshi offered him an out, one he readily took.

She came with him to the computer labs, having already sent a message to the technician to begin the process of hailing The Epsilon ship.

Jim didn’t spend much time in this section of the school. His PADD was connected to the system directly, meaning he could access the network anyway. It worked out well for him, considering the alternative was forking out credits any time you wanted to use the network outside of class.

They entered the long range transmission room. The technology here was outdated in Jim’s opinion, but it was strong enough to pierce through the ion interference that surrounded the colony, unlike the normal network that had to wait for the interference to settle. 

There was no one else using the system at the time, Jim didn’t have to wait long for approval to go through and the line to begin connecting. The stream showed the communication officer aboard the ship had received their transmission and was attempting to reach his mom.

His heart was racing, excitement at being able to see his mom thrumming through him like a drum beat. They waited. Jim refused to look away for even a second as the screen remained blank. 

Any second now. 

Jim mentally calculated the parsecs that stood between him and his mom, he’d already worked out that her ship should be in the middle of Alpha shift, odds were good that she’d be available. That he wouldn’t be waking her up.

The line connected, Jim took in a deep breath, his excitement growing. Words pooled in the back of his mouth, clamouring to be shouted for his mom to hear and acknowledge.

Before he could even get the word ‘hello’ out, the communication officer on duty informed them that Winona was unavailable and wouldn’t be able to be reached while her experiment was at this crucial stage. 

Hoshi placed a hand on his shoulder, speaking before he could hit the button to end the call, or smack the screen and end it that way. “Do you know when she will be available?”

“I don't have access to that information.” The call disconnected. The long range technician awkwardly reached round Jim to press the controls. 

Hoshi’s hand tightened on his shoulder, gently guiding him out of the radio room and into the main computer area. Jim turned his head to face her, a look he hadn’t seen before plastered on her usually calm face. 

“It’s cool.” He found himself saying, ignoring the hollow feeling growing in his chest, hoping it didn’t reach his edges and cave him in. “She told me she’d be busy, and the faster she finishes the sooner she can get here. So. It’s fine.” 

“I’m sure she’s already planning a visit.” Hoshi began to reassure him. He knew she was just trying to placate him, he hated it when adults did that, it felt so condescending. 

“She already took so much time off just to get me here.” He quickly made excuses. He had asked her to visit, but he knew the odds of it were low, especially if she was too busy for this call. Or even too busy to answer a message. “She’ll be here soon, and I’ll just have more to tell her when she arrives.”

Her expression didn’t change as she turned to face him, raising her other arm and pulling him into a hug, carding her fingers through his hair and holding him tighter than he thought possible given her age. 

He didn’t let himself melt into the hug, didn’t allow the tears he could feel stinging at the back of his eyes to get any closer to spilling out. He refused to cry over something as stupid as his mom being busy, she was always busy. 

He pulled back the moment she let go. Holding the book back tightly to his chest, half worried she’d try and take it back now.

“‘Well. I’m sure there’s plenty around the school for you to do, Jimmy. While you think about your actions.” She ruffled his hair once more. “It’s only a week.”

“I know.” He smiled at her, turning and heading to the door.

Just as he left the room she called out. “Remind your friends dinner is seven sharp.” 

“Will do!” He called back at her, wasting no time now that he was dismissed.

He rounded the corner and began to take the stairs two at a time, “I’ll tell them dinners at seven, and that they’ll eat what comes out of their replicator chips, and they will like it.” He said in a terrible impression of the economics teacher who had yelled at Teesoan when he complained about having the same bland oatmeal for breakfast every day. Jim laughed to himself before clearing his throat.

He straightened his back, face pulled into a natural expression as if he hadn’t just been grinning like an idiot before passing by a group of girls at the top of the stairs, he nodded up at them in the same move he’d been practicing since the shuttle craft.

They giggled at him, an improvement to Ethan’s reaction. He definitely had the Kirk charm!

He was still smiling to himself as he made his way to his room at the back of the school building.

“Fancy seeing you here.” T’vrall called out to him as she came into view, a crooked smile on her face. She was running her fingers through her hair as she leaned against the wall, pulling it away from the shaved side and untangling it from the dozen odd piercings she had in her ear. 

He and Tommy lived in what Jim knew was the prime location. Located in the back corner and facing the fields instead of the rest of the colony. Both the Science Institute and the Eastern District were visible from their window, which led out onto the first floor roof. 

Meaning it was the best spot for sneaking out. 

It also meant that Jim got to know all the older teens, even if they only talked to him to get access to the window. 

“What are the odds, right,” He played along. He liked T’vrall, she had the coolest collection of Klingon thrash metal merch he’s ever seen, she’d even let him try on the sweats!

“Ever increasing cause of that damn bioscanner.” She rolled her eyes, it was a common complaint of the other teens, the fact that Kodos had the front entrance enhanced with bio readers, claiming that it helped keep track of attendance. They all knew it was just a ruse to monitor them.

Especially the boarders, a few of whom had suffered serious consequences when they were caught leaving the building whilst supposedly grounded. 

“Got grounded again, huh?” Jim commiserated. 

“Heard you’re on the naughty list now too, Sport.” She teased him. “That old bitch had it coming though.”

“Yeah.” Jim agreed, biting his lip, his repressed guilt from the prank creeping up on him. He pushed open his door, holding it open for her, and she tipped her imaginary hat in thanks. He bowed back at her, an exaggerated flourish to his arms as he welcomed her into the room. 

She wasted no time slipping over to his window, checking if anyone was outside before throwing open the windows and dumping the giant red rope out of it. The heavy material thumped against the roof, making the radiator it was tied to groan. 

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” T’vrall called up to Jim as they climbed out the window. The pair using the rope to guide them over the roof before descending the wall, using the drainpipe for an extra handhold. 

“Yeah.” T’vrall jumped down the rest of the way, causing Jim to almost look his grip on the rope.

“Abigail and Ethan, they arrived together, yeah?” He nodded. They left the rope hanging down, having no one to bring it back up for them. Jim hoped no teacher decided to come out the back. 

“Think it’s serious?” She asked after they’d made their way out of the front gates, she’d taught him earlier that once they were past the point of a teacher catching them, it was always best to look as casual as possible, that way the colonists didn’t get suspicious. She was so smart. 

“Yeah, probably.” They looked pretty cosy, Ethan always has his arm around her.

“Damn.”

“If they do break up though, dibs on Abigail.” Jim said cheekily. T’vrall blew a raspberry at him, punching him none too gently in the shoulder.

“See ya, kid.” She called back, waving her hand over her shoulder as she took a diverging path from Jim’s. He called out an exaggerated ‘Ow!’ after her, rubbing his shoulder.

He waited until she was out of sight before breaking into a run, eager to get to his friends and tell them all about how purple Mrs Vardebedian had turned on the way to Hoshi’s office. 

He didn’t stop running, not bothering to look around as he darted through the colonists that filled the main square then down a side alley, using the wood that rested on the fence to climb up and over, landing in the overgrown grass. He made sure his book was ok before he took off running across the field.

The wood had been Tommy’s idea, a genius way to get the barrels of Petroleum Jelly over to the storage shed without too many people seeing them. they’d used the wood as a lifting device to throw it over the fence. 

Once they realised it could also hold their weight, it served as their new entrance to the field. The only problem was it meant they had to pass close by the science institute, or take the long way around it. 

He took the shortest route, not wanting to waste time going all the way down to the river just to avoid a building they never actually saw anyone entering or leaving. They’d been warned not to go near the Science Institute, Kodos giving droning reminders every morning like clockwork over the Comm systems that there was ‘important experimentation’ going on and that it was strictly for those with the highest clearance, anyone caught trespassing would be reprimanded.

Jim had joked that by ‘reprimand’ Kodos really meant dipped in his copper tubs and turned into a statue he would keep in his house, like art. 

It became an in-joke with his friend group. In fact he wouldn’t be surprised if the first comments everyone made to him were about how they didn’t expect to see him ‘moving around‘ anytime soon.

He was so caught up mentally making comebacks that he almost missed the doors of the building swinging open.

He threw himself down on the ground, realising it was unlikely any adults would believe he was only passing by, even if that was the truth.

He peeked up over the wheat, hoping his golden hair would help him blend in if anyone happened to be looking in his direction.

There was a single man standing in front of the building, his back to Jim, seemingly running his hands over the grain in front of him. it took Jim a moment to see the tricorder in his hand

Why was he running a medical scanner over grain?

The man’s head snapped up as if he’d heard Jim’s thoughts, his whole body shifting until his focus landed dead on the spot Jim was crouching, black eyes locking instantly with Jim’s. Like the easiest ‘Where’s Wally’ in existence. 

Surprise shot through Jim, his mind filtering in several key pieces of information:

The man’s ears came to a point, the cut off shape to his eyebrows made them flare upwards, and probably the most damning piece of evidence of all. The bowl cut. The man staring him down wasn’t a man at all.

He was a Vulcan. 

A Vulcan who was raising one eyebrow at him, no emotion on his face before he deliberately turned around and went back to scanning the grain in front of him.

Jim was too scared to move, starkly aware that if the Vulcan wanted to capture him, he wouldn’t have any trouble, no matter how hard he ran.

Vulcans were three times stronger than the average human, maybe six times for someone Jim’s size.

And they were telepathic. He could probably hear everything Jim was thinking as if it was shouted clear across the field. 

‘Please don’t turn me in, I’m just taking a short cut.’ Jim mentally projected as hard as he could, unsure if the Vulcan could actually hear him or not. 

The Vulcan seemed to twitch, his shoulders shaking as he placed his tricorder back in his pocket, standing still once he had his arms down at his side.

Jim waited. 

And waited. 

Growing impatient as the Vulcan didn’t do anything. 

Was he supposed to keep going? Was the Vulcan just going to pretend he wasn’t there? 

Was he having his lunch? One of the older boys in his class told him that Vulcans were vegetarians because they actually did photosynthesis just like Earth plants, but it only worked on their home planet because of the double suns, and that’s why they have to eat plants everywhere else. 

Jim thinks he was lying, but not much was available on the biology of Vulcans, even in all the medical textbooks his mom kept around the house. And with how hard and still he was standing he could very well be absorbing his lunch from the sun.

Weirdo. 

Jim looked back down at his hands for a moment, shifting around to tuck the book into the top of his pants, he didn’t want to drop it if he had to run for his life.

He looked back up only to see that the Vulcan had moved, no longer in his direct eyesight. Panicked, he stood up, looking to his left and half expecting to see that he’d just moved further into the grain and kept doing his weird scanning. 

He looked to the right, head snapping fully to the side as he saw the Vulcan crouching down a few meters away from him, having been just out of his line of sight. Even when crouching theVulcan looked larger than life. Cold eyes boring into Jim, head turning to the side as he seemed to study the boy in front of him.

All thoughts of Vulcans being vegetarians flew from his mind, this was more like being caught by a predator. This was it. He was sure, no one else knew there was a Vulcan here, or everyone would have been talking about it. The vulcan was going to lunge at him any second, catch him, and take him back to whatever was actually in the Science Institute. 

For a moment he could have sworn there was a twinkle in the Vulcan’s eye, a small twitch to his lips on the otherwise blank face, somehow looking amused as Jim gasped, his whole body moving backwards into a defensive position. 

The Vulcan took a step forward, slamming his foot into the ground in a way that would have been comical if it hadn’t been so terrifying. 

Jim wouldn’t deny that it was him- But a shrill, cut off scream filled the field as he turned and ran, forgetting briefly that if the Vulcan really wanted to catch him, he would have had no trouble.

He kept running, legs pumping wildly, breath leaving him like he was being punched repeatedly in the chest as he flew across the fields, no longer caring if anyone else saw him. He wasn’t going to be any alien’s dinner!

The spot he and his friends had claimed as their own under a copse of trees came into view, a few of his friends already there. He slowed down before any of them noticed him, suddenly self conscious of how he would look approaching them at a dead sprint. He wheeled around, trying to see if the Vulcan had decided to chase him down and tear his head off in front of his friends, a warning to obey Kodos’s rules. 

He couldn’t see the Vulcan anywhere, the science building itself was barely visible within the golden field. 

“Look at you moving around!” Called Teesoan. “Thought you’d be in the main square by now.”

Jim gave an exaggerated fake laugh, almost falling backwards as he threw his arms out to the side, continuing to stumble towards them. 

“Did you guys know there's a Vulcan in the colony?” He asked when he got close enough, not seeing why he should keep it a secret from his friends.

“A Vulcan?” Tommy asked. “Why would a Vulcan be here?”

“Science stuff?” Jim shrugged, moving under the shade of the tree. It had been dubbed the Susie tree, since she had declared it was her favourite spot in the whole entire galaxy. “I saw him at the Science Institute.

“Wouldn’t they tell us if there was a Vulcan in the colony, why hide it?” Rini spoke up.

“Maybe it was a Romulan?” Susie asked, clutching her bear tight, pulling at the fur of its neck in place of a ribbon to play with, the frayed thing having fallen apart a week ago. 

“What’s the difference?” Asked Rini, probably expecting Susie to answer. But the girl just shrugged, getting shy.

“One’s a bunch of nerdy scientists and the other’s space pirates.” Tommy said with confidence he had no right having.

“They’re closely related, but Romulans split from Vulcans a few centuries ago.” Jim explained. “We don’t know enough about Romulans, besides the fact that they’re assholes.”

“What makes them assholes?” Susie asked, Jim ignored the glare Rini sent him when Susie copied his swear word.

“Being related to Vulcans.” Jim answered without hesitation.

“Maybe it was a Romulan.” Tommy stood up, smiling down at Susie and Riley. “Maybe that’s not a Science Institute at all.”

Riley looked nervous, eyes darting to the structure in the distance, as if just talking about it was going to summon a bunch of Romulans.

“Maybe it’s actually an evil lair, and they’re experimenting on the grains, feeding it to us and seeing what kinda mutations evolve.”

“That’s stupid!” Susie stood up, yelling at Tommy. 

“Maybe Kodos warned us to stay away, because if we don’t they’ll snatch us up and tie us to their Romulan death tables.”

“Romulan death tables?” Rini said with an eye roll.

“They wouldn’t do that.” Susie insisted, stomping her foot, as if her determination could make Tommy take it all back, instead of just egging him on.

“They like little girls the best. I bet they’re just waiting for you to fall asleep, or take a wrong turn by yourself and snatch you up.” He lunged at her with the last words. Making her scream and duck out of his way, grabbing onto Jim’s shoulders as she hid behind him

“It’s not true!” She yelled out, moving to look over Jim’s shoulder with her wide eyes. “Is it, JT?”

“It’s not true, Susie.” He confirmed, looking around at his friends. “They only take pretty girls.”

Her pouting face changed into a glare as the others laughed. She stomped away in protest. “Well then you’re in danger too. Cause they’d also take pretty boys.” She threw her bear at him.

He fluttered his eyelashes at her. “You think I’m pretty?” Holding the bear tightly to his chest. 

“The prettiest.” She confirmed, Jim straightened out the bear in his lap.

“I’m glad, I have a gift for you.” Jim told her with a smile, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the green ribbon he’d slipped in his pocket when the guards had been dragging him through the store. They’d been too distracted by Mrs Vardebedian’s shrieking to see him grab it. 

“A ribbon!” Susie yelled excitedly, jumping up and down as Jim tied it around the bear's neck.

“It matches my eyes.” She grabbed the bear off of him, holding it up to her face so Jim could see. 

“I know,” he nodded. “I grabbed that one special just for you.” 

It had been the first one he’d gotten his fingers around, but she didn’t need to know that. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She said rapidly, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing him tightly enough to cut off his air supply. 

Jim wrapped his arms around her, standing up and twirling her around in his arms, not even caring how she shrieked loudly in his ear, her laughter no doubt echoing around the field. As they spun around Jim’s eyes caught two figures quickly walking towards them from the direction of the twins house. He set her down, watching her stumble over to where Riley was to show off her present. 

“So what’d’ya get me?” Tommy said, standing where Susie had been, even bouncing like she had been. 

Jim gave him a snooty look. “You’re big, mean, and ugly enough to get your own pretty ribbons.” 

He turned away from Tommy, looking back in the direction he’d seen the twins approaching from when he’d be twirling Susie around. They weren't there for the prank, but they’d helped them plan it out. 

He didn’t see Tommy diving at him, wrapping his arms around his waist and tackling him into the ground, but he didn’t waste any time struggling in his grip and throwing his own fists, their friends making a circle around them and chanting.

‘Fight! Fight! Fight!’

Jim was quick to stop worrying about the random Vulcan. He managed to kick Tommy off and throw himself up just enough to repay Tommy with a diving tackle. He’d been perfecting the art over the last few weeks, often finding himself in this position. Tommy may be stronger than he was, but Jim was damn fast when he needed to be. 

“What’s that?” Tommy pulled the book out of Jim’s pants, bringing an end to their wrestling as Jims snatched it back off him.

“Hoshi gave it to me.” He explained. “It’s actually one of my favourites.”

“A story!” Riley said excitedly. “Read it to us.”

“Yeah, read us a story.” Susie added.

Jim wiggled off of Tommy, moving to sit with his back to the tree as Riley and Susie flopped down on either side of him.

“Alright, but you might not like it.” He warned, flipping to the first page. 

“Read it anyway,” Susie began to curl the green ribbon around her finger.

“Alright.” Jim said, as if he’d ever say no. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. . .”

It started slowly, more of a rumour spread among the colonists, something kids heard their parents whispering, then told to their friends at school. About how something had gone wrong.

From his room Jim could see a patch of white in the otherwise golden sea of grain, growing a few meters away from the Science Institute. He spent hours watching it, swearing he could see it getting larger. 

Tommy had put a red circle on the window in texter. They checked it every morning, updating the other kids at breakfast every morning.

They’d gotten in trouble for that too. Apparently they shouldn’t be drawing on Governor Kodos’s property. Tommy had taken most of the blame, forced to move to a room without a window. No longer roommates and no longer talking to Jim.

Which gave him more time to watch the grain, and to keep an eye out for the Vulcan. He hadn’t seen him since that day, but he was positive he hadn’t imagined him.

Sometimes it felt like the white patch had grown in the time it took Jim to read Riley and Susie a chapter of ‘Two Cities’, it had quickly become their favourite bedtime story. Jim was on his third read through with them, Riley and Susie even sleepily repeating their favourite lines with him.

Tommy’s silence only lasted a few days before he was throwing his arm over Jim’s shoulder as they entered Mr Roberts class, bragging about how he clearly had the superior room now because it was just down the hall from the girls bathroom. Going on about how Ethan was totally going to get caught cheating on Abigail with T’vrall if he didn’t start picking his tongue off the floor when she walked past. 

Mr Roberts was quiet when they all sat down, waiting patiently as a few of the other classes began to filter in.

“What’s going on, sir?” Jim asked.

“I’ll explain once everyone’s here.” He gave Jim a warm smile, easing his nerves.

Hoshi arrived last, sitting with a few of the other teachers in the back as everyone crammed in. 

“Who here can tell me what a fungus is?” He started, pointing at one of the kids that had their hand up.

“It’s mould.”

“Close, It’s a type of mould yes, but more specifically they're a group of spores that eat organic material.” He simplified, pausing to see if the younger kids understood.

He continued when they didn’t. “So, fungus, or fungi, if there’s a lot of them. They’re not plants or animals. They can be mushrooms, or mould, or yeast.”

Riley raised his hand, waiting for Mr Roberts to acknowledge him. “It’s the stuff that makes apples go bad.”

“Yes.” He pointed at the kid. “Exactly. But let's not say it goes bad. It’s more like...”

He clicked his fingers a few times, pressing his lips tightly together like he was thinking hard, ”It’s eating it. It just eats things a little differently to us.Fungi is all around us, it can grow anywhere, and eat almost anything. There’s even some fungi that can eat inorganic matter.”

He grabbed the whiteboard marker from the board. “Like this.” He touched the wall. “Or even this.”

A few of the younger kids began to giggle. 

“Now, we understand a lot about fungi, and how it works, but the biologists that work here want to know more, especially how different strains-”

He paused again. “We want to know what happens when two fungus join together. It’s a big part of what gets the funding for this colony.”

He pointed to a few of the kids whose parents were there specifically as xenobiologists. Jim’s heart leapt when Mr Roberts began to point at him, worried he’d tell everyone that’s what Jim’s mom was also here to help study. He still hadn’t told his friends his real name, he didn’t want them to know. 

Mr Roberts seemed to see the panic in his eyes, stopping himself awkwardly before saying anything else.

“There’s been an incident in the science institute,” He continued after a moment. “I’m sure a few of you know what I’m talking about, having heard it from the other grown ups. But I’m here to answer any questions you have.”

Hands were raised immediately, Mr Roberts let out a chuckle, raising his palms in a placating gesture. “Ok, ok, let me explain first and then if there's anything I miss, you can ask then.”

The hands slowly went down. 

“There was an accident, and some of the fungi spores were transferred outside of the special lab they have in the Institute. It’s no one's fault, just unfortunate that it happened.” He said, his voice purposefully calm. “They’re doing everything they can to stop the spread, and they’re succeeding.”

Jim frowned, from what he’d seen no real effort had been made. The white patch of mould had still been growing steadily, he doesn’t think he’s actually seen anyone out there dealing with it. 

“But until they can get rid of it, Kodos is making a few changes, to make sure it doesn’t get worse and to be prepared for the very very small chance it does.

There’s no more going near the grain, don’t play in it, don’t eat it, and if you find yourself near it make sure you keep your distance just in case the fungus attaches itself to you. Because that’s how it can spread and get to healthy crops.

There’s also going to be a curfew. Everyone needs to be inside before dark.”

A few of the teenagers began to speak up, annoyed at this. Mr Roberts waited until they’d settled down again.

“What I’m going to say next might upset a few of you, and that’s ok, it can sound scary.” He continued. “They’re going to be rationing the food. The only reason for this is to make absolutely sure that the food we do have lasts as long as possible. There’s plenty to go around, the shipment that delivered a few of you here made sure we had plenty of supplies, and the next one is due in a few months, but if needed we can easily get another from Starfleet.”

That made sense.

“Rationing the food is standard practice in situations like these. Yes we still have plenty in the pit’s storage, we’re not going to run out. But it’s best we make what we have stretch as far as possible. Just in case.”

It sounded reasonable what he was saying, but something was off. 

It was bugging him, Mr Roberts hadn’t really explained what the fungus was exactly, just that the Science Institute had done something that affected the grain. Could that have been why the Vulcan was scanning the wheat the other day?

Jim raised his hand slowly. Mr Roberts seemed delighted, pointing at him straight away. “Is that why there's a Vulcan in the colony?”

Mr Roberts eyes widened. “How do you know there’s a Vulcan here?”

“I saw him, he was scanning the wheat.” Jim felt like he’d said something wrong. “Is he not supposed to be here?”

Mr Roberts stumbled for a few moments before finding his words. “No, yes, he is meant to be here. I’m just surprised you saw him. Kodos didn’t feel the need to make an announcement. Vulcans are a logical species and didn’t see the point of introductions,he’s just here to work on the grain.”

It felt like he had shoved several explanations into one. Mr Roberts turned away from Jim and answered another question, like he didn’t want Jim to ask anything else.

Eventually he got to Susie, who had started to jump up and down with her hand in the air. “Where are we meant to play?”

“Play?”

“Play yeah, you said we can’t go in the grain, but the older kids hog the courtyard. And the other grownups don’t like us playing in the shops. And there's no playgrounds.” 

Mr Roberts got down to be eye level with Susie. “That is an excellent question, Susie. I hadn’t thought of that.” 

She placed the bear in front of her face, becoming shy. 

“There is always the forest area in the upper district , but I think Mr Bear here wouldn’t like that.” He put his ear next to the toy's mouth, pretending to listen to it. 

“Yeah he agrees, it’s too scary.” A few of the kids began to giggle again at his antics, the older teens beginning to talk amongst themselves or ask their questions to the other teachers, now that Mr Roberts was playing with the younger kids. 

Jim kept his attention with the younger kids, even as Tommy began to nudge him for his attention.

“Where else do you think you can play?” He asked the kids, and they shouted out suggestions that he had to refuse, like the river, or the mountain that was more than a full day's travel from the school.

“I really want a playground.” Susie said, pouting.

“Well, why don’t you make your own?” Mr Roberts asked.

“I can’t build a playground!” Susie shouted.

“True, you’re too young to be a city planner.” He said seriously. “But you can turn anything into a playground with enough imagination.”

The kids liked that idea, chatting amongst themselves about swings, and slides, and maybe even a roundabout. 

A plan had begun to form in Jim’s mind as well. Involving a certain statue in one of the few places they were still allowed.

He decided to run it by Mr Roberts first, just in case. “If anything can be a playground then the statue of Kodos sounds like a fun one.”

He paused, as if deep in thought, even placing his hand under his chin and making an exaggerated noise with his mouth shut. “That is very imaginative. And I’m sure as long as you kids behave, it shouldn’t be a problem.” Mr Roberts winked at Jim again as the kids broke off into excited squeals about what they could do in their new playground. He stood up, walking past Jim to get to the other teachers, ruffling his hair on the way. 

Tommy teased him for hours about how he’d totally blushed. Jim sat on him until he’d apologised, chasing him down again when Tommy took back the apology seconds after getting up. 

“This one looks like he’d be a doctor.” Tommy said, pretending to pat the copper dog. Susie cooed at the dog like it could hear her. Tickling her fingers under its chin. 

Jim could see the guards talking amongst themselves, throwing them looks every now and then while they played on the statue. But they didn’t tell them off. He counted that as further permission. 

“JT, I’m hungry.” Riley told him, tugging on his sleeve. 

“Dinners in a few hours.” He replied. The first thing to be cut had been snacks, now the only food they got was at designated meal times. 

Hoshi had been slipping the kids the occasional ration bar though, winking at Jim when he asked and just saying she had her own supplier. He’d given the last bit he had on him to Susie, feeling guilty now that he had nothing for Riley. 

“Why don’t you just go to the kitchens?” Jordan spoke up. His heavily accented voice always taking Jim a few moments to register, 

“We don’t have those in the dorms.” He answered. “All our food comes as replicator chips.” 

“You don’t have actual food?” Jared spoke up, sound scandalised. 

“Replicator food is real food.” Jim defended, unsure why he was since he didn’t even care for it. 

“They don’t keep snacks about?”

“Only if the teachers like you.” But Jim suspected that wasn’t going to continue indefinitely. 

“But what do you do if you’re hungry outside of meal times?”

“Starve.” Jim tried to joke.

“Why don’t they give you actual food?” Jason asked, genuine curiosity mixed in with his shock. “Do they at least give you fresh bread deliveries?”

“You get fresh bread delivered?” Tommy asked, Jim wondered if the twins could also hear the hard edge to his tone. 

“Yeah, every morning, everyone does. It’s like Kodos’s way of apologising for rationing the rest.” Jason explained, as if it was obvious. 

“Not all of us have a mommy and daddy to keep the home stocked.” Teesoan spoke up, a sharp edge to his voice. He’d been suffering the most since mealtimes had become rationed. The amount of food they were given was strictly measured out based only on a terran diet. 

“What’d’ya say?” Jared said, taking a few steps closer.

“Are your ears as full as your bellies?” Teesoan asked.

“Guys, c’mon.” Jim said, looking over to where Susie had begun to clutch her bear tight, she hated it when they had actual fights.

He almost missed Ethan approaching with his friends,hands tucked in his pockets and seemingly casual posture, even as his eyes kept darting to where the guards were stationed. 

“You wanna see something cool?” Ethan asked, pulling a white lump out of his pocket before any of the kids could say anything. Showing it off to them like a prize, his back carefully placed to the guards, blocking their view.

It made Jim feel uneasy. As the rest of his friends got closer, he followed, keeping a hand on Susie as she tried to rush forward.

“What is it?” Teesoan asked. 

“It’s the grain. The stuff that’s been touched by the fungi like Mr Roberts said.” He boasted.

“It doesn’t look like mould.” Susie said, standing on her tiptoes to see into his hand. 

“That’s ‘cause it’s not. It’s basically flour, that’s why it’s white.” He explained. Jim didn’t believe him. “The adults are just messing with us. Wanting to keep the good stuff to themselves.” 

“Flour isn’t white unless they bleach it.” Jim replied, the uneasy feeling growing.  
“I said it’s basically flour.” Ethan snapped at him. “Whatever they’ve done to it, they’ve just modified it a bit.” 

“I can’t believe everyone’s getting bread deliveries.” Teesoan said dangerously, sounding as angry as Jim was beginning to feel 

“Not the upper district.” Ethan snorted, “Are your snooty friends not sharing with you?”

Jim didn’t let himself look at the twins. 

“It’s probably what they’re making it out of, that or whatever we have left in the pit storages.” Ethan held his hand out closer to Teesoan, who had gotten closer the more he explained. “Try some. It’s safe.”

Teesoan shrugged and reached up, intent on taking it out of Ethan’s hand. 

“Don’t!” Jim jumped forward, putting himself between the offered grain and Teesoan.

“Who made you king of the babies?” Ethan elbowed Jim away. “Why don’t you go and call your mommy again and tell her you need your diaper changed?”

Ethan’s friends snickered.

Teesoan reached up and grabbed it out of Ethan’s hand. “What’s the worst that could happen.”

Everyone paused, including Ethan, as Teesoan popped it in his mouth, chewing a bit before making a disgusted face and spitting it out. “That’s disgusting!” 

“Even if that’s magically turned into flour, it’s still not edible until you bake it.” Jim hissed, stepping back from the spot Teesoan had spit, trying to wipe off the splatter that had landed on his shoes. 

“Anyone else wanna try?” Ethan held out more, crouching down to get closer to Riley and Susie. 

Jim shoved him, causing the weird white powder to fall out of his hands. “What’s your problem, why don’t you eat it if you’re so curious?”

Suddenly the guards around them all jumped into action, pulling the other colonists from the square and shouting into their comms. At the same time Ethan grabbed him by his jacket, pulling him close enough that Jim had to cross his eyes to see him

“Think you’re so tough, JT?” Ethan asked, shaking Jim hard enough his head rattled, standing on his tiptoes just to keep contact with the ground. “Think you’re too good to eat some grain, just cause you’re a Kirk?”

He hadn’t told anyone his last name. How did Ethan know who he was?

“Bet your friends won’t think you’re so fun once they know that you’re actually one of the rich military brats that you like to make fun of so much.” He hissed at him. 

“Bet Abigail won’t wanna fuck you when she knows you’ve been trying to make it with T’vrall.” Jim knew he’d managed to surprise Ethan with that. Two could play at this game.

He shoved Jim back, raising a fist.

At that same moment, Teesoan collapsed to the ground, his head hitting the pavement with a sickening thud.

His friends rushed forward, Ethan’s grip on Jim’s shirt loosening enough for Jim to dart forward.

“Tee?” Tommy asked, their friend didn’t respond, mouth open wide like he was choking on something, tears streaming down his face. Jim reached forward, there must be something stuck in his throat.

Tommy stopped him, his hand gripping Jim’s wrist hard enough to grind the bones together. Before Jim could pull his hand out of Tommy’s grip a jarring noise spilled from Teesoan.

It took Jim a moment to realise that he was giggling, eyes snapping open to show his pupils blown wide. Blood vessels burst inside of his eyes as Jim looked on with horror. 

The giggling turned into full on laughter, spit foaming at the corners of Teesoan’s mouth before his eyes began to roll into the back of his head. His body started convulsing rapidly.

A hand closed down on Jim’s shoulder, the force throwing him backwards away from Teesoan. He looked up to see guards surrounding them.

It was chaos, guards were yelling, half of them crowding over Teesoans shuddering body like they were afraid to touch it before one grabbed him by the arm and began hauling him towards the government vehicle that came screaming into the main square. Almost hitting Jordan if he hadn’t leaped out of the way. 

The officers continued to shout at his friends. Rini had picked Riley up, just as a guard had grabbed Susie, ignoring her screams as he began to carry her off in the direction of the school, Rini at his heels.

They slammed Teesoan against the car, trying to manhandle him into submission as he twisted violently in their grip, practically throwing him through the open side door. Jim had to do something, he couldn’t let them take his friend! 

“Where are you taking him?” He demanded. 

“Go back to the school.” The closest guard replied tersely. 

“I’m going with him.” He took a few steps toward the car. The guard nearest shoved him back, repeating his order to go back to the school, or he’d send them all to holding. 

Jim opened his mouth to continue fighting with them, to scream at them that he didn’t care where they sent him, that he wasn’t going to leave his friend. Another hand clamped down on his shoulder. He whirled around, expecting to see a guard trying to grab him, but instead he saw Ethan, an oddly serious look on the teens face as he tried to tug Jim away. Dragging him in the direction of the school as the car doors slammed shut, the tires squealing against the cobblestones as it tore out of the main square.

There was no way he was going to abandon his friend!

Thinking fast, he reached into Ethan’s pocket, holding up the white grain so the guards around them could see before chucking it at them. The shriek from the man it hit echoed even over the commotion. 

There was only one place they could be going if they were heading for the front gates, the Science Institute. 

With the guards now distracted, Jim slipped out of the square, darting into the familiar alleyway, feeling like he was flying as he threw himself over the fence and took off at a dead sprint but staying low in the grains as he did. He didn’t think the guards would notice him, but he wasn’t going to risk getting caught.

He tripped a few times, hands grazed as he scraped them along the ground. He didn’t slow down. 

He could see the building, it’s front door opening wide as possible as the car they had Teesoan in zoomed along the road, throwing loose dirt into the air. The Vulcan appeared at the front as they slammed on the brakes, pulling his friend out of the car almost before they stopped completely.

A guard held him by either arm, forcing him upright and dragging him towards the Vulcan. Even from here Jim could see his whole body still convulsing. Jim began to run, determined to get there. He'd throw himself on his friend and refuse to let go so they’d have no choice but to take him in as well!

He was half a field away when he noticed the look on the Vulcan's face, causing him to stop dead. He was smiling. Hands moving to latch onto Tee’s face and forcing it to stay still. 

Jim had heard rumours that Vulcans could take over the minds of humans. But he thought it was just another lie.

Teesoan stilled. The taut arch of his back slumped to a dead weight in the guards arms, a damp patch growing on his previously white pants. The Vulcan removed his hands from Teesoan’s face. The twisted agony on his features were gone, replaced with a slack jawed stare. His eyes, once a beautiful purple, were ringed in red like they were bleeding, his skin grey instead of the blue t. 

Jim had never been more frightened in his life. His whole body was frozen as the Vulcan moved to the side, allowing the guards to rush his friend into the building and out of sight.

The Vulcan turned to lock eyes with Jim, just like before. Piercing right down into Jim’s soul with the intensity. 

He’d been spotted. The sense that he’d done something very wrong pervaded his mind as the Vulcan continued to smile, not as manic as before but still too wide. 

He raised his foot, taking an exaggerated step in Jim’s direction. 

That was all he needed to find his feet again, turning around and bolting, his mind screaming out his apologies to Teesoan. He was a baby, just like Ethan had said. 

He didn’t stop until he reached the fence, body trembling, clinging to the wire to stay upright. 

With shaky legs Jim climbed up the drainpipe, hands slipping with sweat, hair falling in his face and making it difficult to see where to put his feet. In his desperation he missed the wooden beam, toppling into the barbed wire. The spikes tore into his pants, catching so he swung headfirst towards the ground. He landed in a crumpled pile of boy, too stunned to move.

He struggled to get up, the adrenaline that had carried him leaching out, he could feel blood running down his leg, his pants no doubt torn.

He stumbled to his feet, finally registering a message being repeated over the speaker system. Kodos was demanding that everyone return home for an early curfew. If he got caught outside of school he was sure he’d be sent to Holding.

Usually he'd have to worry about milling citizens and patrolling guards, but the streets were deserted. He couldn't have moved faster if he tried, the message continued to repeat, continued to threaten.

Jim entered the courtyard dazed, as Hoshi ran out the doors and grabbed him. Asking with hushed concern where he had been. 

“Can Vulcans smile?” He heard himself ask.

Hoshi froze, Jim’s hands palm up in hers. “Did you see a Vulcan?” 

Jim nodded his head. Her hands dug into his wounds as she pulled him inside.

Jim didn’t fight her.

Mom,

Classes have been cancelled on an official level, but don’t worry- Hoshi and Mr Roberts are still holding informal ones for the kids who are stuck at the school. Hoshi’s even been kind enough to allow me to still complete the assignments, just like the judge ordered. 

We’re not allowed to leave the perimeter of the school unless we have express permission and a teacher chaperone. The other kids say it’s like that all over the colony- that Kodos has made it official because we can’t be trusted not to eat the infected grain. 

Jim paused, the memory of Teesoan’s convulsing body flitting through his mind, slumping finally and violently. The noise of the crowded classroom reached his ears and snapped him out of his thoughts long enough to continue writing his message.

As well as my assignments, Hoshi has also uploaded a ton of advanced texts onto my PADD. Some of them cover entry level classes at Starfleet Academy, others she thinks I’ll find interesting. Hoshi says I’ve got a ‘voracious mind’ and that the best thing I can do is absorb all the knowledge I can. 

I think she feels bad now that the classes aren’t enough to challenge me. Everything is optional now but most of the boarding kids hang around the classroom they’ve set up. There’s different activities based on the coursework we were supposed to be doing, it gives people something to do besides pace around.

A few of the older teens have started to hang around the edge of the school, getting close to the guards. I’m not sure what their plan is but it only makes the guards angry- they threatened to force us to stay within the school walls indefinitely. Nobody wants that. 

Jim hesitated, unsure if he wanted to mention Teesoan to his mom, he was the reason they were in this mess- if he just hadn’t eaten that stupid grain. 

His mom didn’t need to know he was hanging out with the wrong kind of people.

But. He was worried. 

We still don’t know what’s happened to Teesoan, we’ve been asking but the teachers don’t know anything, neither do the guards—-

He deleted the last paragraph. Grinding his teeth as he reread the whiny message he’d written. He began to edit what he did have, changing the wording around and throwing in sentences about how they could still do a lot once she finally came to the colony.

He triple checked that the comm address he had for her was correct, focusing his attention on each individual letter and number. He was positive it was right. H’d sent fourteen messages to that address. 

She hadn’t replied to any of them. 

It could be easily explained by the ion interference that surrounded the planet, there was always the chance his messages simply weren’t sending. He didn’t have a device powerful enough to penetrate the field, not like the equipment in the long range transmission room, 

Or she was replying, but they weren’t getting through, getting lost in the subspace channels, being filtered by the school's mailing system even. He was using his official school comm for a reason, it had the best chance of surpassing the ion interference using their channels.

Or maybe she really was just busy. She was working her commission on the Epsilon, and between that and looking for Sam, he knew he wasn’t a priority. He couldn’t be. But she would come, she would be here eventually for her job. She’d fix the problem with the grain, too. He just had to be patient. 

“Whatcha writing there?” Abigail Daro was peering over his shoulder, reading his message to his mom. He felt his face heat up in embarrassment. 

“Nothing.” He said quickly, pulling the PADD protectively to his chest. 

“I send my mom a lot of messages too.” She said kindly. “She doesn’t reply a lot though.”

“Because of the ion interference?” Jim asked, feeling immeasurably relieved that he wasn’t the only one having problems with communications. 

“Yeah, that and she’s busy being the CMO of The Reliance.” She boasted. “She’s visiting once her tour’s done though.”

‘Same! I mean, she’s not a doctor. She’s a xenobiologist.” Jim scratched the back of his head, willing his mouth to stop stumbling over his words. “She’s got a job lined up here when her assignment’s over.”

“That’s awesome. Do you have any plans for her visit?” Abigail asked. “I’m gonna take my mom kayaking on the river.”

“Kayaking’s nice.” He agreed. “It depends. If my brother comes along we might all go hiking. Sam loves nature. Or we could climb the mountain.”

“Mount Wilson?” She confirmed, as if there were any other mountains worth climbing. 

“Yeah, they say it’s a six on the Algronain scale.” 

“I hear you need some serious muscle to climb that.”

“I’m awesome at climbing mountains.” He bragged. “A six is nothing.”

“You must be very strong.” She said seriously.

‘I am.” He agreed, nodding his head. “I used to lift weights with my uncle back on earth.” Not technically a lie, Frank just didn’t know he used them . . . once. 

“I bet I could lift you no problem.” He continued, his heart fluttering in his chest as she laughed. 

“You two are looking cosy.” Jim jumped at Ethan’s voice, the teen standing above them ,glaring down. 

Abigail didn’t look impressed. “Grow up, Ethan.” She sighed at him, shaking her head.

“Whatcha writing there?” He asked in a parody of Abigail's first words, letting Jim know he’d been listening the whole time. He reached down and snatched the PADD off Jim’s lap before he could stop him. 

“Aww, it’s a message to your mommy.” He said in an exaggerated sweet voice. “Telling her how much you love and miss her?”

“Give it back.” He stood up, trying to grab the PADD out of Ethan’s hands. 

“Make me.” Ethan held the PADD high, pushing Jim back with a hand on his head every time he got close.

“Ethan stop,” Abigail stood up too. “Why don’t you go bug T’vrall?”

“Baby, don’t be like that.” He groaned at her, ignoring Jim for a second too long, giving him enough time to leap up and grab the PADD, trying to pull it out of Ethan’s strong grip.

Ethan acted quickly, snatching it back out of his hand and pushing him to the ground. 

“Mommy come get me they’re not feeding me enough!” he mocked, pretending to read parts of his message out loud to everyone. “Mommy message me back or I’m gonna cry!”

Ethan’s friends made exaggerated crying noises. Mocking him. 

“Give it back! It doesn’t say that.” Jim squared his shoulders. Trying to sound like he wasn’t affected.

“Yes it does.” Ethan pointed at the screen. “Line for line. I am a giant diaper-wearing baby, who still sucks my thumb to go to sleep.”

“Weird thing to admit, but alright.” Jim shot back just as fast. 

“Grab him.” Ethan said to his friends. Two of them grabbed his arms, holding him back and lifting him off the ground until he was eye level with Ethan. He wondered if that was something they’d practiced. Staying up late talking about ways to bully those shorter than them. 

“Listen up, brat. Cause I’m only gonna say this once.” Ethan threatened. “Stay away from my girl, or I’ll make it so you never go through puberty.” 

“Which one. Abigail or T'vrall?” He asked with false innocence. The other kids had crowded around them, forming a circle, he wondered if the teachers would even trying to intervene. Probably not. 

He would have to protect himself, just like Sam taught him. 

“Y’know these sure are nice shoes you got, JT.” Ethan pretended to appraise the dirty shoes Jim had been wearing since he first arrived. “I’m sure you're generous enough to let me have them.”

Ethan reached down, pulling one of his feet up and trying to pry the shoe off with one hand. 

Jim kicked out, attempting to wrench his arms out of the other boys grips at the same time, flailing wildly. His foot slammed against Ethan’s face. 

The teen moved back, grabbing at his face. The friends holding Jim had loosened their grip enough that he managed to wiggle free. 

Ethan turned back around to face them, blood pouring down his face from where Jim’s foot had connected with his nose. 

“You want it so bad?” He asked in a growl. Raising the PADD up high before slamming it down onto the ground. “All yours.”

Jim knew without even turning it over that the screen would be smashed. The noise of tinkling glass recognisable even over the crowd that had gathered around them. 

The doors to the classroom burst open, several guards coming in. Mr Roberts followed behind. 

“Causing trouble again, Ethan?” The one in charge said, a sneer on his face.

Ethan stepped away from where he had been hovering over Jim. Face blank except for the blood running down to his chin. 

“No, sir.”

The guard stepped closer. “That’s not what your teacher says.” Jim didn’t miss the dark look Ethan shot to Mr Roberts. The guard didn’t either. 

“I think you need to spend some time in Holding. Think about what it means to be a good citizen.” The guard grabbed Ethans wrist,pinning it behind his back and doing the same with the other, leading him out the room none too gently. “Grab his friends. I think it’s time we set an example.”

The guards did as they were told, one of Ethan’s friends tried to pull away, his arm stuck at an awkward angle. He yelled at the guard, who let him go, The boy stumbled a few steps before the guard pulled a his phaser off his belt and smacked the kid in the face with the butt of the weapon.

The entire room went silent. The teen grabbing his face as blood began to pour out of his mouth. The guard raised his phaser again, pointing it at the teen this time. “Keep walking.”

“Sir, I think there's been a misunderstanding.” Mr Roberts finally spoke up, snapping out of whatever daze he had been in. 

“Shut it, Eugene. Or you can come to Holding with us.” Mr Roberts looked like he was going to argue, before putting his hands up and stepping back out of the way. 

The guard barked at the teen to move again, this time he obeyed, stumbling out of the room, slamming into the door as the guard gave him another shove. Jim’s heart beat hard in his chest, mouth opening to tell the guard off.

Mr Roberts’ hand came down on his shoulder, squeezing so tightly that Jim’s knees buckled with the pressure, his hand shooting up to grab at Mr Roberts in protest.

“I know you wanna say something, but you gotta know when to pick your battles, JT.” He whispered urgently. “There’s nothing you can do for those boys now, just let them go.”

The last guard slammed the door shut behind him, the other kids gradually beginning to talk amongst themselves again. Mr Roberts let go of his shoulder, rubbing it briefly in an apology. 

“It was just a stupid fight.” Jim defended. “They don’t deserve to go to Holding.”

“JT, those boys have been causing problems since day one, it’s best we let the trained guards handle it.” Mr Roberts said gently. “They’re bad eggs. Doesn’t mean we have to let them continue to stink up the room.”

Jim opened his mouth to argue, but the man turned away, 

“Enough.” Tousling Jim’s hair around with his fingers as he called out, “Who wants to play two cities?”

“Me, me, me!” Came the chanting of the little kids. 

“I wanna be Sidney.” said Susie.

“You always get to be Sidney.” Whined Riley. “I wanna play Sidney.”

“I dont always play Sidney.” Susie held up her bear. “She plays Sidney last time, and now it’s my turn.”

“Why don’t you both be Sidney?” Mr Roberts said helpfully. “And the bear can be Charles?”

“No,” Susie said exasperated. “She’s Lucie.”

Jim turned back to his PADD, picking it off the floor and groaning at the cracked screen. It still worked, thankfully, but he didn’t have the resources to fix it. He would have to put in a request for one on the next freighter, fill out the form and send it to his mom for approval.

He ignored the horrible feeling in his gut that told him he was better off just forging the documents. 

Reading through his message one last time, he hit send. Pressing it harder than necessary, as if that would make it pass through the ion clouds better. The screen flared under his finger. The multitude of colours lingering long after he had removed his hand.

The guards continued to escalate. Picking more fights and intimidating whoever they could. ‘Room inspections’ were introduced, supposedly to make sure no one was housing any contraband. 

Jim had been lucky, his flooring had a hiding spot. the guards had been around several times trying to confiscate his PADD, he just kept telling them it was broken, that he threw it in the trash recycler.

He’d also been unlucky, one of the guards decided he’d been mouthing off at them, and shoved his head against the wall as a warning.

The area throbbed, his eye swelling painfully within the hour, a dark bruise taking up the top half of his face. 

Hoshi was applying ointment, from her own supply, to the area - trying to reassure him at the same time that she wouldn’t let it happen again. What she thought she could do, he didn’t know. 

But it made him feel warm. 

“I thought all the medical supplies were supposed to go to actual medical professionals.” Jim said.

“Technically he got the equipment back, I don’t have the regen unit anymore.” She said with a hint of regret. “And I worked with one of the best doctors in the federation for years, I’m basically as qualified as anyone else on this planet.”

There was a knock on the door, the hinges squeaking as the person on the other side didn’t wait for a response, both of them freezing as the guard walked into the room. 

It was the same guard who’d knocked Jim into the wall.

“Not surprised to see you breaking the law, Ms Sato.” A smile decorated his greasy face as he confiscated the medical supplies. Telling her she was needed in the government building. 

“Head to your dorm, Jimmy.”

“Kid comes with you.” The guard said gruffly. The phaser rifle in his hand bumping gently against the door as he shifted, a warning.

“Should I get the other students?” She asked as he directed them to the front door. Hoshi grabbed Jim by the arm as they followed the man, making sure to place herself between them. 

“They’ll be in the later batch.”

What the hell does that mean? Hoshi tightened her grip as he shot her a look, returning his alarm with a subtle shake of her head. He obeyed, staying silent.

He took them to the main government building, into the rec hall. The floor had basketball court markings, and the stage had been extended from the wall. He’s been lucky enough to play twice before Kodos had changed the laws. Even tempted to sign up for the production of Hamlet, just for something to do, before everything shut down. 

Hoshi kept her arm linked with Jim’s, not saying anything as they joined up with what must have been hundreds of other colonists. They were shoved forward by the guard who had been leading them, the door slamming shut behind him. Hoshi dragged him further into the crowd, still placing herself between him and the guards where she could.

Jim looked around, unsure what was happening. A few of the colonists he recognised, the families of kids he used to attend class with, as well as their neighbours. This must have been one of the lower districts of the colony. He hadn’t explored the residential areas much, the grain fields were closer and much more fun than exploring clean streets with hundreds of houses that all looked the same. 

At least they did in the district these people came from, the famine had been hitting them hard as well, the whole gaunt crowd looking a mix between tired and tense enough for a fight. Good to know it wasn’t just him and the other boarding kids that were getting the short end of the stick.

A hush fell over the weary crowd as Kodos mounted the stage at the front of the room. Just the same as he had when Jim had first seen him. Long flowing robes covered his body, he could have lost as much weight as the rest of them without it showing, but his face showed no trace of the haunted look that comes with starvation.

Even his dogs still looked well fed, Jim noticed with emotion burning in his gut. He wouldn’t be surprised if those dogs were getting better rations than they were. 

Maybe that was just so they’d still make good statues, he thought vindictively.

Jim snickered to himself, unable to stop the noise before it left him. The guard to their left pointed his phaser at him, shutting Jim up instantly.

Glancing away to avoid provoking the guard any more, Jim noticed just how many armed guards were in the room. They were blocking off every possible exit, even lining the walls.

“-survival depends on drastic measures.” Hoshi tensed against Jim as Kodos’s voice filtered down to them, his words only just beginning to register in Jim’s brain. “Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society.”

Chatter erupted in the crowd, people looking around at each other, a few even catching onto where the guards were and pointing it out to those around them.

“Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no choice, but to sentence you to death.”

The man's expression didn’t change as the people around Jim began to panic, even as the guards yelled and pointed their weapons into the crowd, a few of them firing off phaser rounds, terror spreading quickly. 

He heard Kodos’s remaining words as Hoshi pushed his head down to her level, trying to shield his entire body, feeling like he was underwater as everything around him happened so quickly.. Hoshi was saying something, but Jim’s mind didn't register more than her lips moving as the crowd began to surge around them, the high pitched whistling of phaser fire singing in the air around them. 

The guard that had been blocking the door locked his sights on a group of men that had started to shout, his weapon swinging around the point at them as he left his post, the exit wide open.

He watched as Hoshi leaped forward, grabbing his phaser rifle and pushing it to the side before he could react, her other hand grabbing the phaser attached to his belt and firing it up at him in a move that must have been practiced endlessly to be so smooth. 

He fell to the ground as Jim rushed forward, going to Hoshi’s side as she whirled around and grabbed him, shoving the phaser into his hand and pushing him past the prone guard with more strength then he thought possible, his shocked body not giving her much help.

“Go back to the school and get the others, you all need to run.” He heard her yell at him, her other hand gently touching his cheek as she forced him to make eye contact with her. He nodded, every second feeling like a lifetime as the noise from the slaughter reached a cacophony. She bent down and grabbed the rifle off of the guards body, firing it three times in quick succession at something behind Jim, making him feel weak in the knees as he stumbled towards the exit.

They shoved the door open, other colonists spilling out into the corridor and pushing around them, Jim turned back towards Hoshi as she continued to shove him in front of her, he didn’t understand what was happening.

“Don’t look back, Just run.” She shoved him, trying to turn him around. His whole body felt sluggish as he did as she asked, legs shaking as he took several steps away, heading through the hallway and to the main exit from the side he had come in.

The phaser felt heavy in his hands, he’d never held one before. He didn’t even know how to use it. 

He turned, expecting Hoshi to still be by his side.

She wasn’t there. He could see her back in the doorway, ushering out several other colonists as she fired her rifle. They sprinted past him, knocking him to the side in their hurry.

“H-Hoshi!” He called out, she couldn’t stay there. One phaser rifle wasn’t going to be enough to stop the guards. 

He called out her name once more, taking a step back towards her. At that moment a guard reached her, grabbing the rifle in her hand. They began to wrestle, more colonists slipping out around them, not stopping to help, blocking his view of what was happening.

“Hoshi!” He called out, taking a few more steps.He had to help. He forced his legs to move faster, pushing past the people rushing in the opposite direction. Walking through water as adrenaline pumped violently through his system, he had to move faster, he had to help her.

The man managed to wrestle the gun out of her hands, throwing the old woman to the ground. Jim couldn’t hear what he yelled at her over the blood rushing in his ears, sure he was also screaming something as the man pointed the phaser at her.

He fired, pressing down on the trigger repeatedly. Bursts of light leaving the phaser and impacting Hoshi. Jim knew she would have been dead after the first shot, her body twitching against the floor with every surge from the weapon.

The man shot out into the hallway, stopping another colonist dead before another tried to push past him. He shoved them back, slamming the butt of his rifle backwards to shake people off, his other hand coming out to grab the door and slam it shut.

A sickening crack filled the air as the man attempted to slam the door, Hoshi’s ankle snapping on impact. 

He tried again, her body jolting on the floor. 

People began to grab at the guard, hands clawing at his armour and pulling him off balance, his other hand refusing to let go of the door as it bounced off of Hoshi’s ankle once more.

The man kicked out, moving her body just enough as the crowd tugged at him once more, the door finally crashing shut. The sound of phaser fire was muffled in the corridor. 

Jim couldn’t take his eyes off of Hoshi’s body, her own eyes wide open and looking directly at him. Her body limp like maybe she’d just fallen unconscious, if it wasn’t for the red splattered floor and her ankle twisted at an unnatural angle, bone poking out with blood steadily leaking, no heartbeat to help push it out. 

He hunched over, stomach muscles clenching as bile rose in his throat, acid burning the whole way up. Spraying on the ground in front of him. He gagged as his body convulsed once more, trying to force out food that wasn’t there. 

He turned away from the body, continuing to gag as he ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’know how shows sometimes add different music to credits and it’s like emotional damaging based on the ending of the show. Even if the songs peppy and upbeat? 
> 
> If this had credits the song would be:
> 
> Tidal Wave by Taking Back Sunday
> 
> Next chapter is back to present day!

**Author's Note:**

> So I currently have 70k of about 150k written, but I am hoping to have this fic completed by the end of the year! I’ve got a billion ideas for it and I’m really excited to see what the final word count actually ends up being, hope you enjoyed it! 💖


End file.
